my mate left me the night of our wedding (contains strong language)

bonus chapter

2000 reads? how about a bonus chapter to celebrate!!! i would like to dedicate this chapter to my best friend dustin :). he has been my biggest fan and support system through everything. he is always there when i need him and never judges me. we have had our ups and downs but in the end we are always going to be there for eachother. i love you dustin! i wouldnt be where i am today without you. you made me a stronger person and i could never thank you enough!!!

Clayton’s pov

                I was angry. Beyond angry. But I was madder at myself at more than anyone else. I knew I shouldn’t have let things get this far. I shouldn’t even have let her in my life but I had been stupid and allowed her to love me and for me to fall for her. I wasn’t supposed to love her or even have married her but I couldn’t stop myself.

                She had been so gorgeous the first day I met her. I had got to their pack to talk to their alpha about some rogue attacks and there she had been standing beside him as his third in command. She looked so strong and powerful standing there and it looked as if nothing could penetrate her hard look but as soon as I walked into the room with my brothers her eyes went soft and she relaxed her stiff stance. Her eyes filled with love and lust and I could feel her wolf calling to mine. I tried to ignore the pull towards her and I managed to keep my eyes off of her until the meeting was over and I ran into her into the hall on the way out. I instantly fell in love and couldn’t keep my hands off of her. Six months later I proposed to her and it was the stupidest thing I could have done. My world was not meant for her and I knew that from day one. I knew I could never be happy with my mate because of where my responsibilities lied. I was alpha of the most powerful pack and I couldn’t let anything distract me.

                I left her the night of our wedding because I had to make her hate me and it worked. She wanted nothing more than to rip my throat out. It hurt me to see the anger and pain always in her eyes when she looked at me but I just kept telling myself that it was for the best. I kept telling myself that it was best that she stayed far away and never fell for me again.

                Wolves constantly wanted me dead and the people I loved so if I allowed her to love me again she could be killed and I could never let that happen. I could not handle the pain that it caused me to even think about seeing her dead because of my own stupid feelings. I had to put her safety before my feelings no matter how much it hurt me. She had a pack and people that would always be there for her when I wasn’t and it was just better that way. It would always be better that way. Because of her I was losing family but it was also best for them if they stayed as far away from me as they could. Francis and kale would always be there for me but I knew they hated me as much as everyone else.

                “Clayton?” Francis asked from behind me and I turned to look at him. I was standing by the pond just running through my thoughts. “What are you doing out here?”

                “Thinking,” I muttered and turned back to the pond. I could see the fish swimming freely through the water and I suddenly envied them. Why couldn’t I be free like that? Why couldn’t I do what I wanted and not care about anything?

                “Well everyone’s pretty upset about what you did,” he said as he stepped up beside me and stared down at the water.

                “It had to happen Francis. Both you and kale both know why I can’t have her as a mate. It’s too dangerous for her,” I said and gave him a said ways glance.

                “Maybe you should let her decide that for herself Clayton. She’s a strong girl and you know that. You have to keep in mind that this is hurting her more than anybody else could. You almost killed her today with rejecting her so how are you different than anyone else? Why do you keep doing this to both of you? What happens if one day you truly love her and want her back but she’s gone and moved on and hates you more than anything? Make your choices now Clayton because you can only push her away for so long before she leaves and never comes back.”

                I knew he was right. I always knew he was right. Cadence was a big girl and should be making this decision for herself but I didn’t think she would ever love me again for the pain I have caused her. Any smart girl would run away now and never come back. Maybe I should just sign the divorce papers and let her finally be free from me and the pain I am causing her.

                I let out a breath and turned to the house and stared at the window to the room that she was in. would she survive the night or one of my stupid mistakes finally kill her? My heart ached and I wanted to run in there and break down and tell her everything. Beg her to come back to me and hope to god that she says yes but I knew I couldn’t. Not now after everything I had done to her. It would not be fair to her to ask her to come back when she was just trying to build her life back up from what I did to her.

well theres the bonus chapter!! i know you guys have been wanting expliantions as to why clayton left and here is some!! two more comments and i will post the next part which will explain so much more!! comment vote!!!