Fat Girl Problems

Fat Girl Problem 17: Humiliation

I was mortified. Never before had I felt this humiliated over anything and that was saying something. My whole life revolved around people picking out my weight rudely in front of others, but it didn't compare to yesterday. I couldn't believe it, I just couldn't believe it. I tripped over my own feet with an audience viewing the show. To make it worse a guy yelled timber and I ran, I ran away from my friends. I wondered what they were thinking when that happened.

Sighing, I curled up into a tighter ball beneath my covers. After yesterday I was too ashamed to even leave my room. Thank god it was Saturday for that.

"Quinn!" my dad suddenly yelled.

"I'm not leaving my room!" I yelled back.

My dad had been trying to get me to leave me room, but it wasn't working. No one would be able to. The humiliation was too much. I swear I wouldn't be able to look at another human face again.

"But Quinn, you-" my dad began.

I waited for him to finish his sentence, but he never did. Frowning, I closed my eyes. Whatever. It was better if he left me alone to drown in humiliation.

After a minute of closing my eyes, I felt someone sit on my bed, right beside me. Groaning, I realized dad must of came here. I shut my eyes tighter. Dad wouldn't make me get up.

"Dad," I whined. "Leave me alone."

"But daughter, you can get brain damage from staying underneath the sheets."

My eyes flew open. That was not my dad's voice. This voice was exaggerated to be extremely low. Who is this?

"Who are you?" I asked nervously.

"Connor," Connor said gently.

I nearly laughed because Connor using that voice was hysterical. It was so not Connor-like. But the fact he ended the joke quickly was Connor-like.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"To ask why you ran away yesterday," he responded.

I sighed and I felt him shift closer. Suddenly I felt more nervous than before.

Ignoring that, I muttered, "You know why..."

"You fell, big deal. Everyone falls."

I shook my head, even though he probably couldn't see the movement. "When a big girl falls it gets posted on the internet so millions of people can laugh at her."

Connor sighed this time. That pissed me off because I was the humiliated one here. He had no right to come here and become tired of me instantly. Ugh.

I opened my mouth to speak, but he beat me to it. "Quinn, haters gonna hate."

"What?" I asked shocked.

"Haters gonna hate," he murmured awkwardly this time.

I couldn't help it, I began to laugh. Connor groaned which only made my laughter increase. This was too funny. "Mr. Tough Guy", who barely spoke said "haters gonna hate". Just the thought of it was keeping my laughter going.

Connor groaned again. "You know what I mean."

"Not really," I said, wiping the tears off of my face.

Finally I was able to calm down. I lay on my side, uncurled now. From what I could tell I wasn't facing Connor.

"People are going to judge you no matter what, so you just got to ignore them. Don't let then get to you," he said gently.

I sighed. "But I never asked to be fat."

"No one asks for people to judge them hun. It's just unavoidable."

I sighed again. He had a point, but it wasn't fair. If I wasn't fat I wouldn't get judged as much. Actually, I wouldn't get judged at all. It seemed like people only judged me for my size and I hated that. That was why I needed to stay home. No one but my dad and little brother could see my size here.

"I'm not leaving here," I eventually grumbled.

Connor sighed tired and I suddenly felt a hand on top of my blanket-covered head. It was patting me gently, sending a shiver through me. Gulping, I realized it had to be Connor. He was the only one here. Now feeling incredibly nervous, I remained silent.

Thankfully, Connor broke the silence. "Quinn, you're beautiful. The whole world would be able to see it if you only had some confidence. Confidence that would leave you strong against this hateful world."

My eyes widened as my heart fluttered. Quinn, you're beautiful. Those were his words, but I was in shock. Connor didn't seem like the cheesy type, so it meant more. My heartbeat had accelerated at this point.

I peeked out of my blanket, curious about Connor. To my surprise he was looking away. From the reddening in his ears, I knew he was embarrassed by what he said. I found that cute and it won me over.

"Fine," I said, pretending to be reluctant. "I'll learn to be more confident."

His eyes met mine, looking more gentle than ever. My heartbeat accelerated more, if that was even possible.

"Good," he said, slightly smiling. "We'll be working as hard as ever on this."

I grinned. "I'm ready."

He allowed his smile to grow, and we just stayed where we were, just staring at each other. His eyes were really fascinating. I knew I would never get bored of this. Too bad my dad interrupted.

"Connor hun, do you want anything?"

We both looked over to my dad quickly. He was eyeing Connor with distrust, despite what he just said. Blood rushed to my cheeks.

"No," Connor responded. "I'm fine."

He quickly glanced at me, which only increased my blush. Dad wasn't please with that.

"Quinn, do you need anything?"

I shook my head. "I'm fine. Actually, I've never been better."

I mentally kicked myself as my dad squinted his eyes at me. This was embarrassing. I couldn't believe I said that. To my surprise, Connor gave me a big smile, quickening my heartbeat.

"Sorry Quinn. I think I need to go now, see you at school," he suddenly said.

I nodded. "Okay, bye."

Connor got up and left, leaving me confused. That was random. Sighing, I watched my dad eye Connor suspiciously the entire time. That was never a good sign.

Once the door shut, my dad asked, "What was that about?"

"Nothing," I sighed. "Nothing at all."

My dad's eyebrows rose. "Really?"

"Really," I insisted.

However, was it really nothing?