Guilty Conscience ~ Abbacchio/Fem Reader

Chapter 29: Crying With The Cosmos

You were a light in my life that I never knew existed; not until your flame was blown out. And for that, for never seeing how truly important you were to me, I am sorry. So please, hate me all you will, but I need you to light up my darkness once more, Abbacchio.

It's what she wanted to say to him. But didn't.

She watched as Abbacchio found his balance, standing from where he sat across from her. A ring of moonlight stretched over him like some sort of cruel punishment for Y/N. He was devastatingly beautiful. His hair, gently blown by the salt-scented winds, glowed a new shade of lilac under the star-filled sky. He looked ethereal in this night light. His angular features cut sharp shadows across his entire body as he stood still. Not moving, nor breathing, nor thinking about all of the times he silently begged the stars for a chance to dance with Y/N one last time. Or at least, trying not to think about such things.

His mouth fell open as if to speak, but Abbacchio stayed quiet, watching her stare up at him. Y/N felt her cheeks grow wet with hot tears. She didn't care if he saw her cry. Crying was the least of her worries.

The ocean rocked their boat gently as if to soothe the wounds that the Phantom and Brute had bore into one another. The sea pitied their sorrows and so did the stars. As if saddened by the sight of the unlikely pair falling apart, the starry night twinkled from far above, letting the odd comet fall through the sky just like the tears streaming down Y/N's gentle skin.

"You're killing me," he uttered.

Comets dripped from the night, basking the sky in a glowing misery.

"I don't know what you want me to say," he mumbled after a moment. "I said everything I wanted to. Now. . . I don't know what else there is to do."

Y/N knew that Abbacchio didn't just mean that he didn't know where else to take their conversation. He meant he didn't know where else their relationship could go. What were they? Friends? Enemies? Lovers, inexperienced with each other's skin? They'd cycled through hate and hope with no remorse. And after over a year of knowing each others' names, it seemed there was nowhere else to go.

Leaning her head back, letting her face bask in the star-lit night, Y/N asked, "Do you wanna hear an appropriate answer? Or the real answer?"

Abbacchio was ready to head back inside the turtle moments ago, but now, confused and intrigued, he wanted to hear what the Phantom had to say. "Give me the appropriate answer. Then you can tell me the real answer."

With her head still tipped to the sky, Y/N said, "We're teammates. It's pretty unreasonable for either of us to ask for complete solitude from the other. So I say we stick to business and work together when needed. But we should also give each other the space we deserve. I don't expect you to forgive me nor do I expect myself to forgive you. Honestly, we were both cruel. But let's not be cruel anymore, kay? It's becoming redundant. Let's just work well together. If not for our sakes, then let's do it for the team — and for justice."

Y/N tilted her face away from the stars and back to Abbacchio. His feline eyes were sharp, piercing her every movement with even slashes. His eyes bounced from her steady rising chest, to her eyes, to her lips and back to her eyes. Like honey, his gaze dripped as he worked the muscles in his jaw. Nervous? Is that what he was feeling? Or was it something closer to disappointment?

"That's the truth," Y/N said when he didn't speak. "That's the best answer I can give you for this," she grumbled, gesturing back and forth between their bodies.

"Kay," he said leaning his elbows onto his knees. "And what's the real answer?"

"It's not appropriate."