blue ➸ camren

twenty one

Lauren woke up the following Monday with a pit of anxiety in her stomach. The past few days had been pretty rough for both of the girls. The nightmares seemed to have come back at full speed, and Camila had a tendency to try and hide them when they did. Lauren could always tell, though.

So when she woke up to an empty bed, Lauren sighed heavily. This had become a normal occurrence between them. She cursed herself for being such a heavy sleeper.

The dark haired girl yawned, quietly shuffling across the hallway and slowly peering into the bathroom. As always, Camila was on the floor with Wolf in her lap. Judging by the look on the smaller girl's face, she hadn't gotten much sleep that night.

Lauren didn't even have to say anything. She simply sat down against the door and looked over at Camila. When the girls met eyes, Camila bit her lip and scooted closer to Lauren. They both knew. There was no use in talking about it.

Lauren wrapped an arm around her girlfriend and pulled her into her side. She was so tired of this. She was tired of seeing the girl she loved so much struggle to rid herself of her demons. Lauren felt powerless.

She pressed a kiss to Camila's temple and sighed softly. The appointment she had scheduled the week prior was today. Which meant Camila would possibly be leaving the doctors office with a prescription that had the power to banish the nightmares.

Both girls sat in silence for a while. Wolf would look up at them occasionally, purring contently before snuggling back into Camila's lap. The brown eyed girl felt numb. If anything, the nightmares had only been getting worse. And she didn't know what she could do to stop them. There was so much hope riding on the appointment that day. For both of them.

"Do you wanna get breakfast?" Lauren asked after a few minutes of silence. Camila looked down at the kitten in her lap and nodded, cradling Wolf in her arms.

Lauren gave Camila a soft smile, standing up and offering a hand to help Camila to her feet. The small girl followed Lauren down the hallway, crawling to sit on the counter once they got into the kitchen.

As Lauren pulled a box of cereal out of the pantry, Camila furrowed her eyebrows in thought. She spoke up when Lauren set two bowls on the counter.

"If they are not real, why do they feel so real?"

Lauren lifted her head and glanced at her girlfriend. She could see the conflicting emotions in Camila's face. It pained her to know how confusing it must be for her.

"Cause our brains are pretty complicated," Lauren laughed softly and shook her head. She poured them both two bowls of cereal and then hopped up to join Camila on the counter. "They're good at tricking us sometimes."

"That is so stupid," Camila huffed, crinkling her nose. She didn't like the nightmares. All she wanted was to be able to sleep without being woken up in a panic. No matter what she did, they never seemed to go away.

"I know, baby," Lauren sighed and rested her chin on Camila's shoulder, kissing her neck. "We just have to wait and see what the doctor tells us."

"I hope it helps," Camila shivered.

"Me too, Camz," Lauren gave her girlfriend a soft smile. "But if it doesn't, we'll figure something else out. We always do."

"Yeah," Camila whispered, setting Wolf down on the counter to explore while she took a bite of her cereal. They'd only had the kitten for a week, but both girls had completely fallen in love. If they hadn't already known that he was blind, they wouldn't suspect anything. The small white kitten seemed to get along just fine without his vision.