Royal Obligations

Chapter 34: The Competition Grows

"Cordelia,"

I ignore the voice of Forrest like I have been for the last couple of days. I place a pillow over my head and try to muffle the voice.

"Cordelia, please let me in. I know we haven't talked in a while but this isn't healthy."

That was a strange thing to say, considering he spoke to me two hours ago right outside my door.

"Cordelia, I'm worried about you."

Then the voice dawned on me and I realized who it was. It's been so long since Harlan and I had a real conversation that I almost forgot what his voice sounded like.

I force myself out of bed, not exactly caring about my appearance as I open the door. Harlan was polished and clean as always, but there was no doubt dark bags under his eyes.

I was so selfish that I forgot his father was as well kidnapped.

"Hi." Is all I say with a blank face.

I don't cry. And it's not like I have been lying on my bed crying my eyes out. I still believe crying is for the weak and I refuse to do it.

Harlan gives me a sad smile. "May I come in?"

I simply shrug. "Knock yourself out."

I step aside as he enters my room. Harlan looks around the room before carefully taking a seat at the bench at the end of my bed.

"Cordelia, you can't stay in here forever." Harlan says carefully. "I know you cared about her. I did too. But i'm sure the last thing Felicity would want is you locking yourself up in your room."

I shake my head and refuse to take a seat next to him. "If I were Felicity, I would want me to lock myself up in a room and live a life in misery."

Harlan opens his mouth to argue but I cut him off. "That was supposed to be me. She tried to tell them that, and I don't blame her. She wanted to rat me out, and I wouldn't have blamed her."

"That's not true-"

"Of course it is, Harlan! This is the real world! Felicity wouldn't die over a girl she has known for little over a couple of months!" I run a hand through my tangled hair. "I don't deserve to be here right now. Out of all the people who she could have been mistaken for, I am the one least fitted to live a life she never got to live."

"Cordelia, I'm going to need you to stop talking like that."

I shoot him a dirty glare for the first time ever. "Stop telling me what to do. I'm not a barbie for you to dress up and play with."

And for the first time ever, I've seen Harlan grow very angry while it being directed straight toward me. "First of all, you don't get to say those things. That was a very harsh analogy, considering I have never treated you remotely close to an object." Harlan stands up and crosses his arms. "Felicity is gone because they mistook her for you. There is nothing we can do to change that fact. But what we can control in this situation is how you choose to handle this. You are safe. You are living, breathing, and the last time I checked, you are also alive. So you should start acting like it." And with that, Harlan practically sprints past me and exits the room.

I was still in a little bit of shock, because I am now realizing how similar Forrest and Harlan really are. They seem as opposite as black and white... But the way they handle certain situations seem to be the same. Another thing that held me in surprise was the fact that he was right. Everything he said made perfect sense and it made me feel stupid. I don't think I have ever felt stupid after becoming Cordelia.

So I took Harlan's advice. And I also took a shower.

****

Another funeral in the duration of three weeks. Except a few weeks ago Felicity and I were sitting together and mourning together. I don't want to make this funeral seem trivial, but it passed by so quickly it was almost like I was blocking it out. Maybe I was.