started as a lie

25

leahs pov

i drove as quick as i could without breaking the law. we arrived in manchster and linda told lotte the hospital.

i dropped lotte right at the door and went to park my car.

lots of thoughts rushed through my head. what if she hates me? what if she doesnt want to see me? what if her family sends me away?

i walked to the desk and said sophias name. the lady at the desk pointed towards her room and i went.

my hand was shaking as i reached to open the door. i started overthinking everything. 

maybe i should just leave

"you okay love?" a nurse asked.

"erm yeah. just nervous" i gulped.

"its okay love. go see her" the nurse said. i nodded and stepped in.

i saw her lying still in bed. asleep. she has tubes in her nose and lots of wires and machines around her.

i saw her parents with red eyes and ollie with tears. lotte was hugging linda, comforting her.

everything started overwhelming me. i began to panic and quickly stepped back out the room.

i slid down the wall and put my head in my knees.

this is bad.

thoughts flew through my head. somehow i started blaming myself

if we were still together, would things have been different? maybe i would have been there to protect her and she wouldnt have been stabbed.

tears started falling down my cheeks.

i felt someone sit down beside me and put their arm around me. i looked up and saw ollie.

"how are you leah?" he asked.

"im fine. how is she, what happened" i questioned.

"shes doing alright, shes strong. they said if it was a millimetre to the left, she probably wouldnt have made it." he told me. i felt some relief. she is strong, she always has been.

"im glad shes alright" i said.

"i just keep feeling really guilty. we should have never been in that position. man it should have been me" he sighed.

"how come you havent turned me away? or said anything about what ive done?" i asked, genuinely confused.

"im waiting for a damn good explanation as to why you broke my sisters heart" he said more seriously.

"im really sorry ollie. i never wanted it to happen. i just thought she deserved better than me and maybe i was holding her back" i said.

"why though leah, she was so excited to be marrying the woman of her dreams. why would you not be enough. you were perfect for her" he said.

"yeah a lot of people have been saying that. letting her go was the biggest mistake of my life. i cant lose her again. do you think she'll have me back?" i asked.

"leah, you really hurt her. she was in a very bad place. shes only just started healing. but i think she will. just give her some time. give her a proper explanation. as much as she doesnt want to admit it, i know how much she still loves you." he said to me.

i nodded.

"come in and see her" he said. he stood up and helped me up.

"thank you ollie" i said. he smiled and nodded. he opened the door and let me in.

i walked in and linda and david smiled at me.

lotte stood up from the seat next to sophias bed and told me to sit.

after sitting in silence for a while linda spoke up.

"david, why dont you take ollie and the girls home. get some rest and come back later" linda said.

everyone stood up.

"can i stay?" i asked.

"are you sure leah, you look tired" she said softly.

"yeah, i need to be here" i nodded.

the rest of them left and went home.

"linda im so so sorry. i treated her like shit. you probably hate me" i said.

"you did leah, but i dont hate you. what you did was wrong but you probably had a reason for it. i know that sophia still loves you and clearly you do too or you wouldnt be here" she said.

"its a pretty shit excuse but i thought she could do better. i was blinded by social media, all the hate comments i would receive. i just pushed her away, it hurt me so much. i know its not right. i missed her so much. i really struggled without her. i need her back. if you'll accept me that is" i said.

"of course i will. shes just going to need time" she said.

"ill give her all the time in the world. i love her so much" i said.

"im going to get tea, do you want anything?" she asked

"just water if thats okay" i said. she nodded and left.

i sat in silence. i moved my hand to touch hers. i stroked over her fingers and held her hand, making sure not to pull on any wires.

i took the ring in my fingers. the ring that i made her mine with. the ring that she placed on the table in front of me as she walked out of our house for the last time. the ring that i kept with me always.

i put it on a little chain and wore it as a necklace. a way of keeping her close to me.

i brought her hand up to my lips and kissed it very gently. i am going to make her mine again and i wont ever let her go.

linda came back and put the water on the table next to me.

she noticed my teary eyes and gently squeezed my shoulder. i looked up at her and gave her a little smile.

i brought sophia's hand back up to my face and kept it there.

"leah, your exhausted. please go and sleep. if she wakes up i'll ring" linda said.

"yeah okay" i gave in. i didn't want to leave her side but i won't be any use if i haven't had any sleep.

"i'll be back soon darling" i whispered to sophia. i stroked over her cheek and walked away towards the door.

"leah" i heard her quiet voice.

i turned around and saw her open her eyes. i walked back over to her and linda went to tell a nurse.

"leah you look shit" she laughed.

"glad you haven't lost your sense of humour" i joked.

"what are you doing here?" she asked.

"i came to get you back. i cant lose you. your too important to me" i said.

"leah, you hurt me. when you told me to go. my heart shattered." she said.

"i know. and i've regretted it ever since" i told her.

"go home leah. get some sleep, eat, have a shower. your a bit smelly" she teased, i laughed and shook my head. "just freshen up and come back. when you do, i expect a fucking good explanation"

"okay darling" i said.
"you want anything from home?" i asked.

"just teddy" she said. i nodded and went out.

i got in the car and sighed with relief.

words can't describe how glad i am, glad that she didn't turn me away. glad that she's willing to hear me out. not that i deserve it