Chapter 23

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♫He broke his own heart and I watched, as he tried to re-assemble it♫

Chapter 23. 🌺

(LOUIS' POV)

Ive never felt so happy before in my life. Amber's arms around my neck, her sweet laugh filling every corner of the tour bus. It was literally all to perfect. The boys teased me for days. Calling me 'lover boy' and 'whipped tommo', not to mention 'loved up loubear'. But I ignored it. Because Amber was always there, melting away any doubts I had. She continued to make us food, much to Nialls delight. She truly was family to the boys, and a little more than family to me. I hadent told management yet. I was scared that they might make me break up with her. I was terrified that they would take away the girl that lit up my entire world. I was petrified because I just couldnt deal with myself if that ever happened. The boys knew, and Paul was growing more and more suspicious.

I guess it wasnt to subtle when Amber gave me a little kiss on the cheek before every concert. And I suppose it seemed more than friendly to Paul. I wanted to tell the world. I wanted to go up to the rooftop of the tallest building there was and finally tell the world that I finally got the girl. I didnt, though. Because I was scared to death of what the world would do. Days passed. Then weeks. Three months. And still, I had told no one of what Amber and I shared. Fans flirted shamelessly with me, thinking I wasnt committed.

Granted, a lot wouldve flirted even if they knew I had a girl, but still. I loved our fans because as crazy and often perverted as they are (a/n: ;) you know it guys), they are amazing. So supportive and nearly always respectful of our choices. But I wonder what they would do if I told them about Amber. They knew her from pictures as 'crew member girl' and she was supposedly a backstage crew member.

They knew nothing of my feelings for her.

And I really didnt intend to inform them about us. Until Amber herself asked me. She had walked up to me casually, as if she wasnt about to spring the 'question of absolute doom' on me.

"Hey Lou." she had smiled at me, pressing a quick kiss to my lips. She knew how I hated her quick kisses, because I never get the chance to kiss her back. I had smiled and greeted her back, patting the couch cushion next to me as a signal for her to sit with me. Which she did. And then she asked the question.

"Are you ever going to tell anyone about us, Louis?" I answered truthfully.

"I...don't know." She had sat there quietly for a few seconds before giving me a small smile.

"Louis, I'm all for keeping this a secret. But...we can't hide it from your fans forever." She smiled. She made a good point. "I just don't want you to get hurt. But...I'm just...so confused." I moaned. Amber had laid a hand on my back and soothed me.

"I understand..." She cooed, but I exploded at her.

"You DON'T understand! My career is weighing on this, my passion, my life! I have to play all the right cards and if I don't, game over." I burst out in a yell, before sinking back into my seat. Amber was frozen, and I couldn't bring myself to meet her eyes.

"I...I'm sorry." She whimpered, before running out of the room. I felt a piece of my heart break, but I didn't run after her to apologize. I needed to sort out my messed up brain first.

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