If I Fall (GirlXGirl)

Chp. 25

As I waited patiently in the diner I felt my skin growing hot from my accelerated heard beat. It had been a few days since I had been in Philadelphia with Jada and my parents and of course I had kept my promise to Ashley. We were meeting today, or we were supposed to be, but something in me felt that she wasn't going to show. I didn't know how true that was because she had seemed pretty desperate to talk, yet she was already ten minutes late.

Drew had been on edge about this meeting, and I didn't blame her one bit, but I knew she had nothing to worry about. I knew when I would see Ashley I would get the familiar sense of anger and sadness, but I never felt anything other than that. There was no longing, no attraction, nothing but hard feelings. I thought it was a good sign, and I knew after this meeting it would hopefully seal the deal of us being over. Leaving me to start fresh with my new found sense of freedom and focus all on Drew.

I sipped my second coffee, checking my phone and realizing she was now twelve minutes late. I would give her twenty, and if she didn't show I would be forced to deal with no closure on my own. This was her last and final chance, and if she didn't show in eight minutes I would leave.

I stared down into my cup, overthinking everything that had happened in the past three years. I had absolutely no idea what Ashley could say, I had no idea what she had been up to, but I knew it was the same for her. Maybe that's why she was chickening out, because she didn't know what she was even going to say to me.

I could only hope it would be the truth, that's the least she could give to me after all this time. I wanted to know why. Why she felt the need to destroy me. Why she felt the need to lie and hide behind my back when all she had to do was be honest. Why she had to ruin everything.

I checked my phone once more, Fifteen minutes late now... I rolled my eyes, wondering if I should just leave now. I had nothing to do for the rest of this boring Wednesday, but staying longer than twenty minutes seemed way too lenient. She probably wouldn't show, and I wouldn't be shocked if she didn't.

Then as I finished the thought I heard the door open to the diner, my ex shuffling through and looking around for me. I felt my heart clench in pain, those eyes I used to love so much now only evoking pain and regret. It was sad really, but I had to face this, I had to talk to her.

She walked over to me timidly, and I could tell she was just as nervous as I was. It was weird, how we had gone from being absolute best friends to people who barely knew each other. It killed me a little bit on the inside, but I had learned that people come and go awhile back.

She sat across from me, "Hey, I'm sorry I'm late... My car was having a hard time starting with the cold."

I nodded, knowing the struggle but realizing I was actually relieved she had made it before her twenty minutes were over. I sighed, "It's fine, I was just worried you were gonna bail."

I saw something in those familiar eyes that used to hold love for me, and there was still some there I recognized, but it was too late for that now. She ran her hands through her messy hair, which I knew from experience was from nervousness. Some things you just don't forget I guess.

"I wouldn't bail, besides, this whole meeting is kind of because of me," she confessed, me already knowing that it was true. Of course I had agreed because I needed it too, but if she hadn't showed up that night at Cielo I probably would've never seen her again.

I took a deep breath, staring down into my coffee and waiting for her to start. It was almost awkward, which was painful because nothing with Ashley used to be awkward. Everything had been unconditional and great, and we had been best friends before anything, but we were nothing now.