Wielding Stars | Wattys2015 | On Hold

Chapter 18: Stay

I started running towards my car, a deep resentment built up in my soul. My loving, peaceful, angelic soul, quickly became the user of the devil when the years passed by. I couldn't help the rage, it was like I was framed for a crime I had never committed.

I thought it hurt like hell when June cheated on me, that pain was nothing compared to this. When someone you love or yourself is cheated on, a endless betrayal builds up inside your soul. When somebody you loved is raped, a bitterness and injustice is brung upon those who cared, and they will not possibly forget. It almost feels like that nightmare that continues to antagonize you at night, but instead of fearfully falling asleep, you are disturbingly suffocated in the rages and animosities of a lover's abusal. A loss of one's innocence that could never possibly be re-obtained.

...

"Daryl it's no big deal, I would never leave you."

"Daryl it's fine, he's a jerk anyway."

"Daryl don't worry, I love you"

I should of paid better attention to June, it would prevent myself from paying this pain. This abomination of an emotion. June was caring and loving and all I could ever need, and I literally mean that. I would struggle through starvation, homelessness, and illness, for the wellbeing of June. It's only made of respect. While millions of couples are having sex, we are writing songs. While millions are out of control with their hard-wired lust, we are coping with a financial crisis.

"I believe as humans we are toys, we are trampled, beaten, moved, and eventually destroyed. "

It's an undeniable fact of life, we as humans are dropped, broken, and glued together weakly. We are bound to the strongest chains of intimacy, we are a selfish seeking race and we know no better. While that might be the group connected and pressured into all the lies, there is another class. People like me are the most successful of humans, we strive for the greatest, aim for the top, and work with an ethic indescribable. Out of work, arrives respect. We are pointing out the qualities in one and making affect out of it. Another reason to wield stars, and never let go.

While I sat and moped in my car, thinking out loud. June walked up to the dark tinted window and slowly tapped a couple times. I rolled down my window, but I didn't want her to see me crying. I then sniffled.

"June, I'm sorry for not protecting you and I am sorry for overreacting, but most of all, I am sorry for not loving you with every last one of my breathes. " I said words filled with sorrow, slowly rising with a hint of agony. I felt as if she cheated on me because we had grown apart or something worse. She didn't love me anymore.

"It's not your fault, it's mine, I am so stupid. I let him do stuff to me, I didn't know what would happen, we had both had a few drinks and we came stumbling home drunk. My mind fled, and one thing lead to another. I am so sorry." June explained, she couldn't contain herself, it eventually all poured out, and once again I was there for her, like I always wanted to be. All I ever wanted was to be able to comfort and love someone, but the same in return.

"June, I don't want you to sing at the bar anymore, I want you to find another place to sing." I stated calmly and peacefully without showing any obvious anger.

"I don't think I can, I should just quit entirely." June said sadfully, I did not want to see her like this, I couldn't stand the sight of her crying. It was like everything we had wished for was scattered across flames and burned.

"June don't think like that! Please just try, if this happens again I could never forgive myself. I am having difficulties forgiving myself now." I said, and it broke out into silence.

I got out of my car, June had her hands covering her eyes, that were obviously filled with tears and ruined make-up, she was still so beautiful though. I could imagine a world without her, and it was empty, gray, blind to any love. It was almost like we would be cradled in the arms of robots, a lifeless world. A lifeless heart.

"June?" I asked.

"No, please, I don't want to cause you any more pain, PLEASE!" June yelled. "Please, leave me alone, I am useless." June said as she slowly backed away from me and started walking in the opposite direction.

"June..." I yelled as I ran to catch up to her, she started to run further away."Please come back, I need to talk to you, I need you..." June was running into the fields, I started to sprint, she is endangered and her heart is starting to shatter.

I sprinted into the field leaving my car running, and the door open. "JUNE?" I screamed countless times, but no answer ever sounded.

I ran across the field, circling and coming back, looking for a sign, but there was nothing. I would always procrastinate in the grocery store while my parents were scrambling for our food. Sometimes my mother would tell me " Don't go too far, I will be worried." I finally fully understood that. The mystery and fearful suspense that filled my conscious was unbearable. I despised it.

"June?" I whispered when I came across sniffling and rustling amid the wheat. I ran closer, to see June sitting in the dirt with her hands holding her knees. She was crying heavily, I ran down to her and grabbed her shoulders and held her close.

"June, don't do that again. Okay?"

I heard something mumbled in between the heavy sobs and the weak coughs.

"June, I love you, lets go home dear."

June was broken, like I was for a short while. I hopped into my car, as the smiling stars shone on us as we took off into the miserable sunset.

...

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