Her to You, Mine to Me

chapter 6

her to you. mine to me.

CHAPTER SIX

author: because i would want a sleepover with my ruesh 🤗

warning: swearing

we laid in silence.

a movie was playing in the background. we'd occasionally make comments about the actor's outfits or dodgy makeup. but it was never a conversation.
there was one question circling my brain. i didn't have the heart to ask it quite yet. so i stayed silent, under the covers with rue by my side.
i was in her clothes and wearing her socks. it didn't feel weird, it genuinely felt like a sleepover. ones that i used to have with my best friends when i was younger.
i also didn't mind the silence. it wasn't awkward nor was there any sort of tension in the air. we were just laid down watching a movie together.
it was raining, of course. classic for england. the air had a cold bite to it. but we couldn't feel it because we were snuggled up inside.
ruesha had made us both a cup of tea and there was a half filled bag of chips sitting in between us. i kept coming back to that question though. i wasn't able to focus on the movie any longer. the skin of the corners of my thumbs were peeling off and turning bright pink. my feet were tapping together at a high tempo, causing the sheet to jiggle constantly.
"okay i've tried ignoring it, what are you doing with your feet g?" ruesha grabbed onto my arm in efforts to stop me tapping my feet together. i thought of a proper answer, one that doesn't make me sound like i'm thinking about her. but i was thinking about her and at what point do you stop lying about that?
"uhm guess i'm just anxious about this movie" i lied, a small laugh following my lie.
"you're anxious about home alone? you realise they come back for him right?" in the midst of my thoughts, i had forgotten what movie we were watching. a movie that i have watched about a million times before.
"yes exactly, i just get nervous about..kevin. and his house" i lied.
i was not a great liar. people could always see right through me. and as someone who had spent almost every day with me for weeks straight, ruesha was one of those people.
"there's something else on your mind isn't there?" she turned the volume to the tv down and rolled over to lean on her elbow facing me. her other arm was bent laying in front of her chest, the peak of her elbow pointing directly at me.
"no no" i scoffed and shook my head, refusing to make eye contact with her.
"someone else?" she asked, hitting the jackpot with her question this time.
"tell me ruesha who do you think i'd be interested in? there's no one single who is also hot, who also loves soccer and likes spending time with me"
i raised my eyebrows in her direction yet still refused to make eye contact with her. if i did, i knew it would solidify the obvious feelings i had for her.
"plus i think it's been so long since i've even kissed another person. i think i've forgotten" she laughed and i saw her nod out of the corner of my eye.
"okay i understand that! maybe you just need someone to practice on?"
i once again scoffed at her comment. she has to be kidding. right?
"again, i don't know anyone who'd be willing to do that for me!" i started to giggle and i didn't stop. not even after ruesha responded.
"you're an australian midfielder about to play in a world cup on home soil, i'm sure any girl and her mother would love to be your puppet" i continued to laugh, harder this time.
"ew gross! i'd never make out with a fan, it'd have to be someone who's also a soccer player. and they'd have to be on my team, i'm not having another lia walti situation" i reminisced of my short lived time with lia. no one really knew about us. i met her through her arsenal team mates and my aussie team mates. it was just a fling to her but to me it was more then that. she then went on to date caitlin foord after all my attempted interjections. she just didn't care enough about me.
"i'm sorry what? you dated lia walti as in caitlin's ex lia walti?" i giggled once more at rue's absolutely shock.
"is that so hard to believe?" i questioned her and this time she actually sat up and crossed her legs facing me.
"it's hard to believe that she downgraded that quick" i immediately knew what she meant and struck a quick slap to her arm.
"you know cait's still my team mate right? she's not a downgrade" i saw ruesha's face turn cold.
"so caitlin dated both of our exes and you still love her?" rue started to get clearly frustrated at the conversation we were having.
"it's more complicated then that, she's my team mate, i have to be okay with her. you get it! you have to live with katie on the same team as you" i knew she didn't truly get it. they broke up after the april international break so they haven't played with each other yet. it's been a couple of years since that fling with lia so i had experienced every single part of it. although i guess it is worse when it's your ex your playing with, not your ex's new girlfriend.
"i just don't want your feelings or my feelings to ever get hurt again by that girl" ruesha gave me a frowny face and i felt my heart melt. i hated when she looked at me like that. i felt like i had to agree with anything she said.
"trust me rue, i know caitlin very well by now. she won't hurt me unless i hurt her first and i don't have many intentions on doing that. relax rue. she's far away from us" rue shifted herself to lay on her back with her hands supporting her head. i watched as she was thinking. then i saw a small smile spread across her face.
"you know i'm on your team?" she continued smiling about what she was supposedly about to say.
"great observation. and?" my tired attitude stuck out like a sore thumb.
"you said that person would have to be on your team. i'm on your team" she was still grinning, but yet to bare her teeth.
"oh my god"
i can't believe she just said that.