Recognize. (Urban.)

Intro.

I sat on the cold hard wood floor in his one bedroom apartment crying looking out the window, as the rain poured down. I never felt more alone ever in my life.

My eyes were becoming swollen, and my runny nose was making me breath through my mouth. How did all of this happen? Why am I in this by myself? I asked myself, and God.

There was no lights on in the apartment so it was dark, just the way I liked it.

I felt a huge kick in my stomach. It kind of shoked me cause that was the first time it moved.

I rubbed my belly crying even harder. I'm only sixteen, and I don't know what I'm gonna do with a baby that's almost 4 months. I knew I should have listened to my mom, and stayed away from guys like him.

Don't get me wrong, I do love him. I love him so much. I've always had a thing for thugs, and once I really got to know him it made me fall even harder.

Was it that chocolate skin of his, or his perfect white teeth? Or it could have been the way he acted so tough but when he got around me he was real, and honest. Never scared to show emotions to the person he trust.

I would never take back the night I gave him my virginity, or when I shared personal stuff with him about my dad. When your mom is never home, and people don't fuck with you it was good to have a friend like him.

Someone who always had you when nobody did, and you dont feel any type of love which makes you bitter.

When I told him I was pregnant everything about him changed.

"That's great." He said with a blank look on his face. He looked off thinking about what comes next. But I know he didn't take that lightly, and wasn't ready for kids the way his lifestyle was.

"What do you mean that's great? This is terrible, I'm only sixteen!" I yelled at him.

He looked at me with a serious look on his face.

"And I'm 20. Do you know how much trouble I could get in? I'm already in enough." He mumbled his last sentence.

"So your saying you don't care basically? And just because I'm sixteen, that your not gonna be there?" I asked in tears.

He got up, and hugged me tight, not letting go as I cried into his shoulders.

"You know I hate to see you cry girl. I'm not saying that at all. Truelove doesn't have age, It's just gonna be tough, and I just don't wanna put the child in the middle of my shit." He said.

I knew exactly what he was talking about. The drug dealing. The age was never something we worried about in this relationship. I hated how he sold drugs, But I never had no say. But now that we're having a baby on the way I can tell him how I feel. For the baby's sake.

"Just stop doing it." I commented.

"Babe. You know I can't do that. And it's all I know." He said grabbing my face wiping the tears away.

"I promise I'll try my best to raise this baby, I will never put you two in danger. EVER. You hear me? And we gonna get through this." He kissed my head, but it was hard to believe. He then kissed me on the lips looking at me with his brown eyes with a sincere look.

That was about 2 months ago. Ever since then he's never here like he used too. But he also makes twice the amount, and it reminds me so much of my mom cause she never spends time with me, and I'm always alone while she's making money. I thought it was gonna be different with him. Sometimes it's even worse because 9 times out of 10 I know he's not safe. I got up, and got some tissue from the bathroom to blow my nose as the floor creaked with every move I made.