Girls // 5SOS

48 - i'll find the words to say

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TESS'S POV

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Geez, what made me so mad was that I couldn't even finish performing with the girls at battle of the bands.

It was one song, it could've gotten us noticed and possibly famous too. I had to be stupid and get myself in an accident.

Now they'll probably hate me for it.. And plus, all I wanted was to show those four boys what we got because clearly they were had no idea what they were messing with, or what they really got themselves into.

My thoughts were then interrupted when Cara had walked into the room.

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ROSE'S POV

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"Well would you look who it is!" I spoke sarcastically, I didn't care if I was raising my voice, they had to know they shouldn't be here.

"You have to let me see her.'' Calum pleaded, his eyes slightly glistening. "Please--"

"I said leave. She doesn't want to see you." I say, feeling sadder realizing she hadn't remembered anything she did, or anything that really happened recently.

"Okay, then if she doesn't want to see me ever again I'd prefer her yelling it to my face instead of you.'' Calum said as I glared at him.

"You're the reason she's even in this condition you dick! She would have died if we haven't found her any earlier! So have a little fucking sense and leave before it gets worse."

"What happened to her?" He spoke softly, as I shook my head.

Before I could even get a word out, Jenna was speaking for me. If she hadn't, I might have just completely lost it.

"Tess lost her memory. The only thing she remembers is being happy with us, and I think that's how it always should've been. If I could've lost that memory of you all there too, I would take anything just to give it all back.'' Jenna spoke straightly, not even looking at anyone, just at the white floor. "Oh and she started self harming again, if that's what you wanted to know. The doctor said she over bled when she cut too deep. And yeah, she could've died so you know what? Congrats." Jenna shakily said, looking up as fresh tears brimmed in her sad eyes.

"Thanks for ruining her. Now all she has to do is remember everything and it'll hit her so hard..'' She cried, making a lump grow in my throat. I was on the verge of tears too. I swallowed that lump, pushing back my tears.

"I.. I didn't know." Calum managed to say. I couldn't help but notice Ashton's eyes on me the entire time, but I couldn't get myself to look at him. I knew there was already this sad look on his face anyway.

"Yes you did! You knew, ever since that stupid bet!" Jenna yelled. "So don't act like this wasn't all your fault. I knew we could never trust you, it's always been like that."

"Let me say goodbye, please.'' Calum begged. "If I'm really going to lose her I want to do it the right way.''

"You already lost her three months ago, and you lost us too." I mumbled, finally getting myself to look at Ashton.

The heartbroken expression on his face made me instantly glance away, knowing at the same time.. I couldn't stand him but then again he was the only actual guy to really find his way to my heart. Then again, Scott liked me for a long time, until he turned out liking guys instead.

Luke immediately glanced behind me about to walk forward but I set a hand on his chest to stop him.

"Luke.'' I say warningly as he shook his head.

"Rose please.'' He pleaded. "I need to talk to Cara."

I turned around to find Cara staring at Luke as if she's seen a ghost, before quickly walking away.

"Cara wait!" He yelled, running after her before I could even get the chance to stop him.

I sighed. "I'll talk to her, okay? I'll see what she has to say first."

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I walk into the room, Tess just smiling at me. She was previously focusing on the tv, playing some weird game show I forgot the name of.

"Hey.'' I smiled slightly. "How do you feel?"

"Alright, I guess.'' She shrugged. ''I still feel bad about battle of the bands though. I can't stop thinking about it."

"Yeah.. Well about that, Tess.'' I mumbled, sitting in the chair next to her bed.

She fiddled with the white bracelet on her arm. "What's wrong?" Her brown eyes met mine. They looked so.. Happy. Was I really going to tell her?

I had to. She had to know.

"I.. Look." I sighed. "You.. This isn't 2011, Tess. It's 2015 right now. And the reason why you're here right now is because of this." I pointed to her arm and then to the injury on her head. "You tried to cut yourself, and then cut yourself too deep.'' I gulped, scared of her reaction.

"Funny Rose.'' She tried to laugh it off, but she could tell I wasn't even close to joking.

"I.. I don't know what else to tell you, Tess.'' I spoke weakly.

"No. That doesn't make any sense.'' She shook her head, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Why would I lie to you about anything?" I sighed.

Tess still had a frown on her face but immediately managed to lock eyes with me after a never ending silence.

"Tell me everything, then."

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"Calum? Seriously?" She grumbled to herself as I finished summing up everything to her, well at least the parts she had missed.

"Are you alright?" I had expected her to go back to normal, feeling the pain that was already there but.. She had this neutral, and unreadable expression on her face.

"I don't feel like I should care." She said honestly.

I just smiled. "Yeah, you shouldn't." I simply agree with the girl.

"And Tess?"

"Yeah?"

"I.. Calum. He wanted to talk to you. If you feel like it's way too much to do at the moment then you don't have to. But he's pretty broken up about everything.."

"Well what else is there he has to tell me? I still can't even cope with the fact I supposedly liked him. And that you even liked Ashton for a split second."

"Shut up." I chuckled. ''Ashton is pretty.. Decent I guess."

He was way more than decent, he was muscular, long haired, had the most prettiest hazel eyes and such a cute smile and--

okay, I'll shut up now.

"Wow. Lots have changed in four years I see." She chuckled. "We changed a lot. I mean, you."

"I don't know, I feel like the same person. Just that I see more to life than before I guess. I opened my eyes."

She nods.

"Is that a bad thing?" I pursed my lips.

"No, not at all. It's great."

I stared back at the tv, just sinking into the silence as Tess spoke up softly.

"I'll let him say what he has to say. But I honestly don't know if it'll change anything."

"Alright, I'll call him in.''

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* TO BE CONTINUED *