잠꼬대 (zzz..)

seungmin's diary : entry one

dear diary,

i've been friends with jungsu my entire life at this point. but suddenly he's become so... how do i say it... empty?

he isn't happy anymore. no matter how many times he insists, i know he's hiding something behind his smile. it's fucking fake. and i know it.

what do i do? i can't come over to his house uninvited, apparently. so i just try to ask him questions at school. we've known each other for so long, but he doesn't say a word... does he not trust me..?

y'know, if that's the case... then why has he told me so many of his secrets? maybe it's not trust issues. or just, puberty? i guess? i mean.. we are at that age where things in our bodies with hormones or whatever get more mature and shit, i guess. but that doesn't seem like a logical explanation to me.

i don't know why i'm writing in this diary. it's so... ew. it's dusty, and fucking OLD... and i'm probably going to forget about it tomorrow. but now that i'm writing in it, i might as well do it to try and track my thoughts on jungsu.

i mean, new school, new people, he could just be really stressed? he is pretty introverted, i suppose. but that isn't that believable. i don't know.....

what am i supposed to do? do i just make him spit it out? that's too mean. he seems comfortable around me, until i ask him if he's okay. his eyes widen a bit. it's a bit weird. but then he tries to cough or take a bite out of his lunch and say "i'm fine!" with a small smile on his face.

if i wasn't suspecting anything, i would've brushed it off. but his behavior ever since we started high school is really getting me worried.

is he okay?