Engraved on my heart

Flight or Flight

Sean POV
I reached over mid sleep to cuddle Naya, but my armed wrapped around nothing. I opened my eyes and where she was sleeping was empty. I turned over to pick up my phone to check the time 3:58am. I got up out of my bed and turned on my lamp.
"Naya", I called out as I went downstairs. There was no response after I called out her name. I checked all rooms then it dawned on me. Naya got up and left when I fell asleep. I put face into my palms...did I just fuck this up? I asked if she was sure about going through with anything...so what happened? A wave of emotions came over me because I want this to work with Naya. Around 20 minutes later when I was laying in my dark room thinking about what I could've done I heard a notification.
*ping ping*
Naya: hey Sean, I'm back home...sorry I just could spend the night...I hope you're not too upset with me.
My heart eased a little knowing that at least she wasn't ignoring me and she was safe.
Sean: It's okay don't worry. We can talk another time about it. Just get some rest.
Naya: 👍🏽
I put my phone down and eventually fell asleep.
Naya POV
I waited till Sean was in a deep sleep to slowly pick up my scattered clothing and head out. When I got in my car it was 3:23 am and arrived home by 3:58am. The whole drive home I felt like complete shit. I had fun but nobody knows that since the accident my sleep has changed. As I walked into my house to climb up the stairs to reach my bedroom I ended up groaning in pain. Sean was very gentle with me but his size it didn't matter. I was able to make to bedroom then showered and climbed into bed in my lion king pjs. I picked up my phone and text Sean, so when he wakes up later he's not in panic.
Naya: hey Sean, I'm back home...sorry I just could spend the night...I hope you're not too upset with me.
Sean responded quickly which meant that he must've of noticed my presence. Damn it.
Sean: It's okay don't worry. We can talk another time about it. Just get some rest.
Naya: 👍🏽
All I could just agree because it was late and it's such a sensitive topic to discuss. I put my phone down and as soon my head hit the pillow I knocked out.
I woke up around 8am and decided to stay in bed till 9am. I was scrolling on my phone through Instagram, Twitter and Tik Tok.
I watched a few fan edits and decided to tweet about my amazing fan base that is the Nayaholics. I decide to tweet about them.
@ Naya Rivera: I truly love all my Nayaholics. Your support and love means the world to me ❤️.
I went to Tik Tok for a little humor and I wanted to puke. I opened the app and on my for you page saw a video of Sean and Jhene was sucking on his fingers at a party. I know this was months ago but still considering I just slept...thinking about someone else on him made my stomach queasy. Well universe you don't have to tell my ass twice to get off social media. I got up made some avacado toast with a small mug of tea. The house was so quiet at these times I miss Josey. There was a lot of thoughts in my head and one thing about me is that I'm going to journal. Haha yes I journal and what about it ? If I didn't how the hell would you have got to purchase my awesome book Sorry Not Sorry...you're welcome. My journal was helpful it was my own therapy. From time to time I use it to write a few songs. People think that I just stopped working on music but that's a lie. My priorities are Josey, family/friends, acting, music, modeling, dancing and a personal chef to a select few. The past few years things just got crazy chaotic with my personal and work life. I headed out to backyard and sat on of the pool lounge chairs. As soon as I sat down my phone started to ring. It was Ryan calling which was odd because Josey and him would be on an adventure.
"Ryan, what's wrong?", I asked in a frantic panic.
"Josey, fell off his dirt bike and scraped his arm badly...everything is fine but he's crying and wants you here", said Ryan. I just hung up grabbed my purse and hopped into the car. Why the hell would Josey be on a dirt bike especially with no padding? I drove to Ryan's apartment and parked the car as fast as I could. I walked to up to the door and pressed the door bell till Ryan opened up. I pushed past him and went to my sweet crying boy on the couch.
"Jojo, it's okay...mommy's here now", I picked him up into my arms and had strong grip around me.
Once Josey calmed down I looked at his arm and clean the wound then applied a big band aid.
Ryan was just in the background trying to make eye contact with me. I don't even want him to look in my direction. I put on some Pj masks and covered Josey with a blanket while he rested. I walked to the kitchen and Ryan followed behind me.
"Naya, relax", Ryan said quietly.
"Relax? Where was his padding and what if he broke his arm?", I whispered and gave him a death glare.
Ryan walked his way over to standing right in front of me.
"Kids get hurt and nothing extreme happened to him...so take the stick out of your ass", he whispered back looking straight in my eye.
Ryan could be an asshole and this a large reason as to why we split. It felt like he would try to make it seem like I was irrational and I know I'm not perfect but you got to be kidding.
Ryan put his arms on waist trying to pull me into a hug, but I pushed him off of me.
"I want Joesy home tomorrow by 3pm", I said and went to go sit with Josey for a hour before leaving. I wanted to take him home now, but Josey needed time with his dad.
Sean POV
I woke up later in the day and decided I just need to hangout with my boys. I called Wiz Khalifa and J. Cole to go hoop at Khalifa's. I was the last to arrive at the private basketball court. After, balling for a few hours and Cole beating both Khalifa and I we sat on the bench.
"Sean, you and Jhene really done this time?", Khalifa asked after wiping his head with a towel.
"Ayo to me it's done and I don't see myself with her long term", I said tired of people always bringing Jhene up.
"I don't know about that bro Jhene seems to have other ideas", Cole said looking over at me.
"Listen, I've been respectful and civil, but I'm being deadass", I said putting an end to the conversation.
We hung out for three hours and decide to head back home. I walked back into my house and all I could think of the events that transpired last with Naya. Fuck...I miss her but I don't want to push her especially not knowing why she left last night.