21 : Halloween

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I have always loved halloween, starting from when I was four and was old enough to pick out my own costume.

I remember vividly my first high school halloween party, me and JJ went matching as pirates. JJ threw up three times that night.

That was also the night my hockey boyfriend at the time - one of JJ's teammates - cheated on me for the first time.

It wasn't exactly the funnest.

But it didn't hurt my love for Halloween, it let me mask out my hurt when he told me that night. My makeup and the dark lights hid out my sobs which I only let out that night. When me and JJ got back to mine that night he was too wasted to hear my sobs, to hear the reminder to me of never being first.

I was never the first choice.

My parents cared more about their hockey business growing, my ex boyfriend cared more about his hockey career .

My distaste towards hockey starts from the understanding that in a pyramid of priorities I was always second, never first.

I will always be grateful for Halloween, for being able to mask it all out.

So when Emma asked if I wanted to come with her two days before Halloween to pick out costumes, I couldn't say no.

"Where you going cupcake?" JJ asks as I walk towards our door.

"Shopping with Emma" I will be back later, I wave goodbye. I can't help my gaze linger around the room trying to find a specific pair of amber eyes.

The eyes I looked into as he spun me around, I don't think I have ever smiled so hard.


"So what do you think about...this!" Emma says as she walks out of the changing room in a fairy outfit.

She looks stunning, she's wearing a slinky green dress with green fairy wings, her ginger hair is loose around the back of her head.

"You look beautiful"

"I think this is the one" she says looking at the full mirror on by the door.

"What about you?" She's asks me turning towards me, her hair flipping around with her sudden movement.

"I'm not sure yet" I say fiddling with my hoodie,

"Okay let me give you some ideas"

"No way" I says cringing

"Um angel?"


She keeps on listing suggestions while I keep declining, until we get to one.

We hunt down the costume through the mall but we didn't need much since I had some prices at home.

This was going to be a good Halloween.

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