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The day I left for the base, I didn't really know how to feel. I would be away from an indefinite time, but it didn't seem like a forever. I was nervous, scared, excited, sad, happy, I felt everything. My mind was running twice its average speed. My stomach felt like a warm pool of mush. I was physically shaking with anxiety and excitement. I wanted to relax and take a deep breath but every time I tried it felt like my lungs were only half the size.

"Relax Anna, your train will be here any time now, okay?" Steve said next to me. He looked over at me catching my gaze. He quickly caught on to my array of emotions. I was gripping my bag so tight my fingers were going numb. He gave me a comforting smile, and placed a hand on my shoulder. There was something so grounding in his touch. It could pull me back from drowning.

"Look here it comes." Bucky announced lugubriously. I could hear it coming, and as it slowed down, my heartbeat accelerated. I couldn't believe I was doing this. My dress was suddenly too hot and tight. I was nervously sweating through the material.

"Here it is." The train was obviously long, and there was nothing special about it. It was made for passengers, but it also had compartments used to carry supplies. It slowed to a stop, and the crowd lurched forward. I watched as women cried, and kissed their spouses. There was a sad, but almost happy mood. The other soldiers around me were rowdy, but those who had someone to say goodbye to were somber. Looking back, I should have known that war is the most contradictory state humans are ever in. The bright light of humanity only came in flashes like a light house in a lost sea of carnage and atrocity.

I shouldn't have let Bucky and Steve come with me to the train station. But if I didn't, I might have not gotten on that train. I stood there frozen in my spot. Both Steve and Bucky turned to me waiting for me to do something.

"It's okay to be scared." Steve whispered to me. His gaze met mine, and threw my arms around him. He was caught off guard but hugged back.

"I'm not." I was, but at the same time I wasn't. That doesn't make any sense. I wasn't scared of dying, or what was to come. But I was scared of missing what I had. I couldn't stop thinking about time. The time that I had, or the time that I lost, or the time to come. Time is man made limit. It's the currency of life. We bounded ourselves in the most dangerous spider web. Like the joke goes, it always seems like you have plenty of, but you don't. The average life span is seventy-one years. That's 25,915 days. It's 621,960 hours. But it's not enough. We always think we have plenty of time to say good-bye, but even in 621,960 hours I would never be ready to say good-bye to Steve and Bucky. They were an immeasurable amount of me, and I felt like I was leaving behind a vital part of myself. I told myself I wouldn't cry, and I wouldn't make our goodbye sappy.

"Steve, Bucky, you two know how much mean to me. I'm going to miss you so much, but we'll see each other soon. Don't worry about me. You two stay out of trouble okay? Don't do anything stupid. And write me okay?" I addressed the both of them turning to look them both in the eyes. My voice got shaky but I took the time to control myself. I stood in front of them, and they both nodded their heads.

"I'm going to miss you brat." Steve said pulling me into one last hug. My arms wrapped around his neck as his arms squeezed my middle. As I hugged him, and I started to cry against my better judgement.

"I hate you." I laughed through my runny face. I kissed him on the cheek and memorized his sad half smile, his sad half smile that was 100% his. I turned to Bucky who had fallen quiet for the longest time that I can remember. His eyes were watery but he held it in.

"I'm going to miss you Buck." I whispered pulling him into a hug, he uttered nothing but hugged me tighter. I kissed his cheek and smoothed down his collar of his shirt. His eyes lingered on mine, and I liked to give myself props for knowing him inside out but I didn't this time. He seemed distant, but also he just seemed sad. Really sad.

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