Someone's In My Head (WATTYS AWARD WINNER 2015)

Chapter Sixteen

If you're gonna ask me to elaborate more on the kiss, you might as well take my advice: Zip up your mouth and walk away. There's no way I'm gonna tell you how my mouth was hijacked by a 40-year-old man to kiss his half-deranged wife. And even if I did tell you, you won't be able to imagine it either.

So let's just stick to this scenario: For no explicable reason, you just injected your lips with localized anaesthetic and before the numbing effect could fully settle in, you decided to kiss your mom.

Yep, something like that. Go figure.

Anyway, after the kiss, the both of them were a little bit flustered about it. I mean, who wouldn't, given the circumstances?

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have―" Phil backed away, shaking his head regretfully.

Tanya was equally mortified. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry―no, no, it's not your fault, it's mine." She blubbered, laying a hand on Phil's shoulder.

When they finally picked up the nerves to look at each other in the eye, Tanya gave a small laugh. "It's been ten years, Phil." She confessed. "I've lived with my..." She seemed to be searching for the right word.

"Desires?" Phil offered, chuckling.

Tanya reddened so intensely that I thought she was having trouble breathing. "Y-yeah, sort of."

Phil cupped his hand on Tanya's cheek. "We'll work that out, I promise. But first we'll have to deal with the matter at hand."

"What matter at hand?"

Phil pursed his lips into a hard, straight line. "Leonard Albright Mascon."

So basically, Phil's plan was to confront Lenny until he confessed his sins. But Phil wasn't stupid. He knew that he was clearly out of Leonard's league; that guy had like, a platoon of guards standing by throughout the facility, and even if we made it past the guards, Lenny's faithful lieutenant―Wong―wouldn't give in that easily.

Therefore, Phil had to devise an alternative plan. And guess what brilliant strategy did he came up with? To call Lenny and set up an appointment.

Needless to say, Tanya was equally shocked at Phil's decision as I was. "An appointment?" She scoffed. "Phil, your best friend just ordered to have you killed a few moments ago, and now you're telling me you're gonna freaking parley with him?"

Phil, obstinate as ever, merely shook his head. "Lenny would never want to kill me, I bet my life on that. It must be someone else who hired the assassin. Hell, I won't be surprised to hear that the real chauffeur is bound, gagged and starving in a random garage right now."

Gosh, this guy is one hell of an optimist, I must say. Even Phil himself didn't seem fully convinced by the theory he just proposed, let alone Tanya and I. If not for the fact that I was immobilized right now, I swear I would've slapped him silly.

"I'll call him first thing in the morning," Phil announced as he bit on the aromatic pepperoni pizza. Oh didn't I mention? The takeaway dinner had just come in a few minutes ago, and Phil had been stuffing his mouth with the tasty pizzas ravenously since. I guess being a soldier in an actively-metabolizing adolescent's body boosts appetite largely.

Phil was still talking. Technically, 'talking' didn't seem to be the right word, as Phil's mouth was practically stuffed by pizzas and what he was saying was just indecipherable gibberish. "Tell him about the assassin, see how he reacts. If he reacts in the way the Lenny I remember would, we'll meet."

"He could act, you know? Pretend he's the Lenny you remember?" Tanya challenged. I couldn't help but notice the creases of worry on her forehead.