14. Gin and Jealousy

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"Do you think it's easy being of the jealous kind? Cause I miss the shape of your lips."

To Be So Lonely - Harry Styles


After the kiss with Bellamy, we headed back to camp lugging all the supplies we found in the depot wrapped up tightly in blankets. Despite the new safety the ammunition brought, the safety I felt walking alongside Bellamy was unbeatable.

As we walked through the night in silence, the memory of Bellamy's lips against mine played on repeat in my mind. The silence between us was comfortable and charged with unspoken emotions. But with each step, I couldn't help but wonder if he, too, was replaying the kiss. 

Just to set the record straight that wasn't my first kiss. I'm not exactly a virgin, to say the least. Yeah, I had my fun on the Ark, I mean my Dad was in charge of the guard so I wasn't exactly short on options... But I'm getting distracted from the point, what I'm trying to say is that with Bellamy it felt different. Typical I know, but it felt like more than just a kiss. Like it was the start of something and all I know is that I wanted more. Whatever this was between us, I wanted to feel more. Bellamy had ignited a spark within me, and all I knew was that I craved more.

I pushed my thoughts to the side once we entered the camp walls and I immediately noticed the knocked-over barrels and supplies scattered across camp. The aftermath of the drugged rations had left the camp in chaos. I noticed people still recovering from the hallucinations, comforted by friends. After the camp noticed our return shouts of relief filled the camp.

"They're back!" Someone called out but the shouts of our return were diminished when Miller ran out of the drop ship frantically.

"The Grounder! He's gone!" Miller shouted as the camp panicked in response. But I couldn't deny the slight relief I felt knowing Lincoln was safe. A small smile spread across my lips knowing who it was thanks too, Octavia.

"What if he brings back others? They'll kill us all, or worse." Jasper panicked as I watched the pure fear spread across his face.

"Let the grounders come!" Bellamy yelled out from beside me as a crowd began to gather in front of us. "We've been afraid of them for too long, and why? Because of their knives and spears. I don't know about you but I'm tired of being afraid."

As the crowd watched us in confusion Bellamy nodded to me before we dropped our bundles to reveal the mass of guns we'd found. As they fell to the floor in a pile the crowd began cheering in a combination relief and excitement.

"And there's a lot more where that came from. Cindy is going to start training you all so that when the grounders come we're ready to fight!" Bellamy cheered as I turned to him with a wide grin. For once someone had finally recognised me for my strength, I thought to myself. After Bellamy's announcement, Clarke pulled me to the side.

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