FUN AND NONSENSE ***
Produced by The Internet Archive Children's Library, David Garcia and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team.
[Illustration: Front Cover]
FUN & NONSENSE
By Willard Bonte
[Illustration: Frontispiece]
[Illustration: By Willard Bonte]
INTRODUCTION
Fun and Nonsense are a pair Of merry little twins, And when they come to visit us They bring their friends, the Grins.
They're coming now to visit you. This page we'll call the door. To open wide, just turn the leaf. Why, we have met before!
[Illustration: Introduction]
THE BARBER
Said Chocolate Drop the Barber, "Why, bless my ugly soul! I'll ask that stick of peppermint To be my Barber pole."
[Illustration: The Barber]
THE REFUSAL
"Dear, sweet Lady Cracker, My passions you know." "And I scorn them, Judge Wafer, As you're lacking in dough."
[Illustration: The Refusal]
A HOPELESS CASE
"What is the use?" quoth the Whitewash Brush, "I'll comb my hair no more; For try as I will to make it lie, It still stays pompadour."
[Illustration: A Hopeless Case]
THE GREENHORN
A lettuce walking out one day, Lost his head, so lost his way; A Pumpkin happened on the scene, And said it came from being green.
[Illustration: The Greenhorn]
OLD MR. MATCH
Old Mr. Match gave his head a good scratch, And his face lighted up with a smile; "It is getting quite dark, but with my cheery spark I will lengthen the day for awhile."
[Illustration: Old Mr. Match]
THOUGHTS UNSTRUNG
"Alas! I fear my mind doth wander. As o'er this narrative I ponder; I usually know what I have read, But this time I have lost the Thread."
[Illustration: Thoughts Unstrung]
THE MISER
The Pocketbook has money, On that subject he is daft; But when one strikes him for a loan He answers, "I am strapped."
[Illustration: The Miser]
DR. KEY'S ANSWER
"Shine?" inquired the Monkey Wrench Of Stately Doctor Key; "No!" replied that haughty soul. "No Monkey-shines for me."
[Illustration: Dr. Key's Answer]
THE CHASE
Mr. Brush on his steed, dashing with speed, Was asked if he had time to spare; Said he, with a smile, "I'll be back in a while, But at present I'm hunting the hair."
[Illustration: The Chase]
A RISING DOCTOR
"Dr. Yeast-Cake, it's hard for me to speak, As I haven't risen for more than a week." "Take this, Mr. Roll, and never you fear; You'll rise before morning, so be of good cheer."
[Illustration: A Rising Doctor]
THE SAILOR BOLD
Pilot Von Pretzel's a crusty old salt Who wears a rich shade of tan; Which he did not acquire at sea, by the way, But in a warm baking-pan.
