Steve & Tony- Star Spangled Man With A Plan

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(Requested by @f_a_n_d_o_m_s)

"You almost died, Steve." You say, removing the bloody gloves and toss them in the trash can. "Super healing or not, taking a bullet to the heart will kill you."

"But the bullet didn't hit my heart," He replies, slowly climbing to his feet and tugging on his shirt.

You sigh. "It grazed the right ventricle. An inch to the side, and it would've ruptured."

Steve walks over to you and places a hand on your shoulder. "(Y/n), I'm fine. What do you say we get out of here and-"

"Who's strong and brave, here to save the American Way?"

Both of your heads snap towards the door, looking at each other curiously before slowly entering the hallway.

"Who vows to fight like a man for what's right night and day?"

Your eyes widen. "Oh my god, it's Tony," you whisper, muffling your laughter by biting your lip.

"Who will campaign door-to-door for America,"

"He sounds drunk," Steve mutters as you poke your head into the main room.

"Carry the flag shore to shore for America,"

"Isn't he singing that song from when..." You clamp your lips together to muffle a giggle threatening to escape.

"I was a circus monkey?" He grumbles. "Yeah."

"From Hoboken to Spokane. The Star Spangled Man with a Plan!"

Quickly, you flip out your phone and press the recording button.

"What are you-"

"Shh!" You hiss, smiling mischievously. "This video will be very helpful in the near future."

"We can't ignore there's a threat and a war we must win," Tony howls off tune as he sways around the den, a bottle of-what you're guessing is tequila- liquid sloshes around as he takes a gulp.

"Who'll hang a noose on the goose-stepping goons from Berlin?"

"Okay, I've had enough," Steve jumps up and nearly runs to Tony, who's now laughing like crazy. "alright, Tony, I think you've had en-"

"Heey! It's the Spangled Man himself!" He cackles, taking a swig from the bottle before Steve snatches it out of his hand.

"Jesus, you smell," Steve all but jumps out of his skin when Tony stumbles forward and crashes into his arms.

A muffled laugh escapes your lips as you zoom in on Steve's pink face.

He glances over to you and makes a pleading look. "What am I supposed to do with him?"

You shrug a shoulder. "I don't know, aren't you the man with all the plans or something?"

He huffs and lifts Tony onto his shoulder, gasping sharply when Tony gags and the next second, a sickening sloshing sound echo's in the room.

Steve's face goes white as a ghost. "Tell me he didn't,"

You hold your breath to keep the laughter in. "But he-"

"Just," Steve cuts in, his skin tinting a slight green color. "tell me he didn't vomit all over me,"

You back away when he walks closer. "He-He didn't vomit all over you!"

Steve nods and stiffly begins walking towards Tony's room. You nearly gag when you see the puke coating his back and neck.

"This is so going on YouTube," You whisper, smirking to yourself.

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