Heartstrings

When will I see you again

After that day in the park, Diane drove me home in silence and we didn't speak about it. The weekly meeting happened to be the next day but I didn't attend. Obviously I couldn't do any crocheting with my hand messed up but that was simply an excuse—a damn good one. The truth is, I can't get over what she said and the way she looked at me.

Everything felt like too much and I didn't know how to handle seeing her again. It was a bit overwhelming having her take charge all of a sudden. For a while I thought it was just a dream but as the days passed I realized it can't have been. It's all so vivid in my mind even now, weeks later, and I've finally confirmed it to be real.

That only furthers my anxiety of seeing her again. She knows now and I can't pretend anymore. It should be obvious that she likes me at this point, considering all the teasing from that day, but I'm still unsure. What if she's still just messing with me? I mean she hasn't tried to contact me during this whole time but I also haven't reached out to her like I said I would.

When she dropped me back off that day she told me to text or call her when I wanted to see her again. In my defense, I'm still not sure if I can face her. I want to see her more than anything, I just have no clue what I'd say. As I'm laying in my bed, tossing and turning as I think about her instead of going to sleep, I figure it may be time to bite the bullet. At the same time, my phone buzzes and distracts me from those thoughts.

Hi, just checking on you... I haven't heard from you in a while

Of course it's her, the woman who has not left my mind for so long. I can't even go an hour without thinking of the brunette and it's even worse after that special day. It really has been a long time since I've talked to her, my cast is off now and everything.

I'm ok how are you? And I'm sorry about not texting I've just been thinking a lot

The last thing I ever want to do is lie to her because she doesn't deserve that. As I'm thinking about potential answers to any questions she may ask me, I see she's responded.

Same here. I miss you

I miss you too

I'm not sure why this is so hard for me, I know she must be feeling something. Diane isn't the type to play with someone's feelings; she understands how that is, I can tell. So why am I still questioning everything?

I want to see you if you want that or if you're available?

I don't open it just yet, simply viewing it from the notification center so I can think of a reply before showing her I've read it. I open it and start typing, deleting what I've said and rewriting it so many times.

I'm free tomorrow around 3

I don't want to say I want to see her again, I mean I do but I'm still not certain if I'm ready yet. It's so confusing because I can't get her out of my head, she lives there now, and still I have this urge to stay away.

I can pick you up? Or you can drive now since the cast is off?

I smile a bit, taking note that she remembered when the cast would come off, even though we haven't spoken in so long. Maybe it's not a big thing to others but it really matters to me because little details like appointments are often forgotten.

I'll drive just let me know where to meet you

She sends an address with no further information and I put it in maps to see it's a little cafe called The Planet. I've never been there but it looks really nice. I heart her message and then set my phone aside as I finally feel like I can sleep. After days of tossing and turning, my eyes close and with a smile on my face I begin to drift off.

Diane's pov
She hearts my message and I smile. I was nervous to text her because I know I left the contacting up to her but it's been weeks and I feel like I'm having withdrawals. I knew I took a big risk saying everything I did, I just couldn't help myself. I know she likes me, I can just feel it, but I also know that she's shy and it's easy for her to return to her shell.

I was hoping I pushed her just the right amount but seeing as she didn't reach out, I might've took it too far. I just felt like she was sending signals and maybe she was but didn't expect me to react that way? I know I tend to be more introverted but it's so different with her. My heart beats out of my chest every time I see her and I feel like I struggle to breathe properly.

I'm definitely feeling the anticipatory anxiety of seeing her tomorrow but I know it's just misplaced excitement. I can't wait to see her, however, I would love to be somewhere—just the two of us. I know I have to build my way back up to that and I don't mind it; as long as I don't scare her completely away, I couldn't take that.