What's wrong with us when happy hurts

It's desperate times, you stress all night

Notes:

I feel like I'm constantly apologizing for the long wait for new chapters in all of my stories, I am truly sorry and I am doing my best.

I hope you guys like this one. It turned out different than expected.

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It's desperate times, you stress all night so you don't sleep a second just obsess and guess the next surprise

Sara

South Africa May, 2016

Sara wasn't entirely sure how they had ended up talking about Ollie's time in the Bratva but they had this had led to a conversation about his current issues with the Bratva and after several hours of talking to the root of those issues which was still Alexi's death and Ollie's rather disrespectful way of treating his Russian brothers during Slade's stay in Starling, Star City, she wondered for a moment how long it would take her to get used to their home's new name, before focusing back on Ollie and his admission. And she couldn't fucking believe him! She knew he could be an idiot at times, but this was taking the fucking cake. Two years, more even and he had never thought it would be a good idea to talk to Anatoly and explain the series of events that had led to the mess he had created by being on emotional overload and under so much pressure even the strongest person, which he was, would get crushed under and break. Yet he had prevailed and was still standing tall.

She got the whole not wanting to talk about one's feelings and shit, but if the options were talking about feelings or making an enemy and possibly facing the full force of the Bratva if they chose to retaliate, she'd take talking any day. But of course Ollie would prefer a fight. No matter how moronic it was and how bad the odds were for him. He'd much rather go out swinging than having a heart to heart with a friend. Or admitting that he might have been in the wrong and let his emotions guide him, which had led to rash, thoughtless decisions that cost Alexi's life. But the Bratva wasn't the only one who had ended up with losses at the hands of Slade's war and Oliver's missteps, rash and misguided choices because of his emotional response to Slade's actions. No, Ollie's loss was so much greater than the Bratva's. And she was sure, if he'd taken the time to explain the situation to Anatoly, not even in detail, their friend would've understood, more than that, offered to help. Letting Anatoly in on what was going on in Starling at the time, could've made a difference, it might not have, but chances were that things would've turned out differently with the Bratva's help, and not the reluctant one Ollie forced from them but actual help.

And Sara could admit that maybe had she reacted differently, maybe Ollie would've considered asking Anatoly for help after... she wasn't sure if her telling him he was losing his grip for turning to the Bratva had played a part in him not telling Anatoly or not. Given the approach he had chosen, attack instead of asking for help, she doubted it, but with Ollie, one could never know.

"I swear to God Oliver you can be such a fucking moron at times." It might not be the best approach, but she was just so frustrated with him and incredulous given his admission and the possible repercussions his actions could have, which it seemed he had never even considered. Something that both was, but wasn't like him at all. Not when it came to an issue like this, not when it could lead to some serious trouble, not just for him, but also the people he cared about.

"I'm not sure this warrants an 'Oliver', Sara." His reply was rather dry and one of his brows was raised, his reaction making it obvious to her that he still didn't get it. Not really, not to the extent he needed to in order to understand what his actions could lead to and to be prepared in case he needed to be.