Chapter 70.

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Harry Styles

My feet dragged over the carpet as my sleep deprived body fought to stay awake.

For the past five days since I have been back in England all I have been worried about is Arabella. Every night is worse than the next and I know for a fücking fact that I probably have gotten in total over the last 48 hours approximately 6 hours of sleep. Six fücking hours. Me and Arabella used to take naps that long, never mind actual sleep. Her being gone has put me on such and edge, I can begin to feel myself slipping further and further into the shadows of darkness.

Since I have been back at the house, Luchesi took it upon himself to have his residency in the spare guest room. I almost laid him flat when he asked to sleep in Arabella's bed because I refused to change the sheets in the guest room. He sucked it up and changed them himself but not without giving me an annoyed look for the entire rest of the day. Having him at the house has kept things from getting dark and even sometimes if the both of us couldn't sleep, we would stay up and just talk.

All these years, I really underestimated my opinion of him. Granted, in those years I always looked at him as the fücking prïck who would abuse me, but now that I got to meet him and actually have a decent fücking conversation with him, I understand now that he, just like myself had been scarred by the remembrance of our father. Maybe I should lighten up on him, but I know that it is going to take a while for me to get over the fact that he once raised his hand to me.

I went to the club on the third night home just to make sure everything was in tack. The boys kept most things in order except Niall had been pissed because I had made him sit in middle class on the plane. He'll get over it soon. I haven't told the boys about Luchesi yet, I feel that is just something they don't need to know now. Maybe when everything gets sorted out with my mum and Arabella I'll bring him by.

That leads to another thing, is he going to be apart of Savage? Now that he is kind of living here, he's going to want to have some say in what goes one, but does this mean he is going to be in it? For years I had always said to all my boys that if you ever see him that his head will be blown to fücking pieces, but what are they going to do once they realize that he is giving them orders. They're going to have to get the fück over it because in the end, it's my gang and whatever I says goes.

As I made my way down the stairs I felt the dread of today's event begin to settle. Today is the day I will meet my mother once again. Although in a way I did miss her, I'm dreading to see those same eyes that I used to beat the shït out of. My stupid fücking father had to go and fück me and Luchesi up in the head to the point where we don't want to see our own goddamn mother. Fück you, Dad.

I rounded the corner and trudged into the kitchen already smelling whatever shït Luchesi decided to make today. My body fell into one of the stools as a plate with a two omelets was pushed towards me.

"Today's the day..." he said, pushing the fork towards me as well.

"Yeah.. I guess.." I said already digging into my food.

"Don't even tell me you don't want to go through with it.." he said making me sigh and rub my eyes

"No, I do it's just that... I don't know I'm nervous kind of.." I said, realizing just how fücking stupid I sounded.

"I understand, I was the same way" he said, pulling out his cigar.

I remember the days that me and the boys would go to Cuba and smoke cigars by the hundreds. The girls in Cuba were fücking hot as hell and I remember some crazy nights with a bunch of Cuban girls. Now all of that partying and sleeping around makes me want to vomit up ever piece of this omelet. I shook my head and continued eating as the smell of the cigar filled the room.

"Where's the ash-tray?" he asked making me look up from my food with wide eyes.

"I usually just flick it on the floor, Arabella usually picks it up..." I said, realizing just how fücking disgusting I am.

"Are you serious?" Luchesi asked, rolling his eyes and walking towards the window to flick it out there.

I continued eating as Luchesi took drag after drag of the cigar before putting it out and leaving it on the counter. Luchesi is really fücking good at cooking. Not like Ara, but good enough to keep the both of us surviving until she comes home. I have no fücking idea how I even survived without Arabella before, she basically took care of me while she was here and now looking back, how the fück was I even alive before her.

I finished my omelet, leaving the plate just where it was just to piss Luchesi off before going in the living room where he was watching some random fücking T.V. show.

"What the fück are you watching?" I asked looking at the screen. He growled and paused the show making me furrow my eyebrows.

"I logged into my Netflix on here, I'm watching a series" he said making me raise an eyebrow.

"What a fücking püssy. You would have Netflix and you would watch one of their dumb fücking series" I said mocking his mixed accent.

"This show has lesbian sëx in it.." he said making my eyes widen as I plopped a seat right next to him.

~

"So, Alex and Piper were fücking, then Piper went straight and got enganged?" I asked after 4 episodes of the show had finished. I was surprised that I would actually like a fücking T.V. series this much. Sure, at first I only wanted to see lesbian porn, but now I realize it isn't too much of a shït show than I thought.

"Piper says that her being gay was a faze but later in the season, she does get back with Alex" he said making me furrow my eyebrows.

"Have you already watched this?" I asked looking at Luchesi's tired eyes.

"Yeah this is my third time re-watching, Orange is the New Black" he said making me shake my head.

"You just watch it because of all the lesbians" I teased him making him shrug.

"You shouldn't be talking!" he said with a wide smile across his face. "Wait until you meet Stella Carlin!" he said as i rested my head against the back of the couch.

A small beep came from Luchesi's phone. When he pulled into out of his pocket, his eyes widened and he almost jumped off the couch.

"Fück! Mum's going to be here soon!" he screamed, making me jump of the couch.

"Fück! I need to shower I smell like balls!" I screamed making Luchesi push my body towards the stairs as we both ran up the carpeted steps.

"Why didn't we keep track of time?" I yelled tugging my shirt over my head as I entered my room and finding the first articles of clothing I saw.

"I don't know, but where going to be fücked if we're late!" he screamed from his room. "I'm going in the other shower, hurry up!" he yelled as I searched my room for a clean pair of boxers.

Fück, if Arabella was here she would she would have all this shît for me already cleaned, pressed, and ready for me to put on. Now I can barely find another sock and clean boxers. I rushed around my room before saying fück and wearing the same boxers I wore to bed last night. All my other ones had fücking jïzz in them from jacking myself off these last few nights and I think my mum would know the smell of jïzz after living with 3 men her whole life.

I threw all my clothes on the bathroom floor before turning the shower on, grabbing a towel and stepping into the already warm water.

Today is already going to be a long day.

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