epilogue

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Hi.

This is Camila. I am a lot different now. But I like to think that I am still the same person I was before. That is what Lauren says, too. I have just been through a little more. Or a lot more.

I used to think it was a bad thing. I used to want to change everything about myself and the things that happened to me, because I thought maybe things would turn out better. But I met someone who I do not think I would have met if things had been different. And I do not want to risk never knowing her. Because I think she is a lot better than anything I could have found on my own.

Her name is Lauren. But I call her Lolo. She has eyes like the ocean and a heart like the sky. I think that is why I love her so much.

I did not know people like her existed. I thought they were impossible to find. But I found her, even though I had to see a lot of bad things first. I think she was worth it, though. No, I know she was worth it.

I hear people talk about finding their other halves a lot. But I do not like that. I do not need my other half because I am not a half. Lolo is definitely not a half. I need her because she makes me a better whole. And I hope I do the same for her.

I need her because she makes me smile. She makes me feel things I have never felt before. I did not know what it was like to laugh so hard that your stomach hurt until I met her. I do not think I really knew how to love until I met her.

Love is weird. I do not know how to put it into words. It fills you up and leaves no space for fear. I am safe when I am with her. Because I love her. And in that moment, that is all that matters to me. It is a weird feeling.

I am lucky. I am lucky because I found somewhere better. I do not know what I would have done if I did not end up here. It scares me just to think about it.

It is weird to read my old words in here. It is hard to remember feeling the way I did. I wish I could have shown myself the good things I would discover here.

The bad things are going away. And I am happy.

- Camila

The small girl quickly scrambled to shut the leather journal and hide it back under the bed when she heard footsteps approaching down the hallway. The door opened and a wide smile spread across Camila's face when she saw Lauren. She quickly lifted Wolf from her lap and hopped to her feet, making her way across the room to greet the girl.

Camila was confused when Lauren held out a hand to stop her. Tilting her head to the side, Camila watched as her girlfriend pulled something out of her sweatshirt pocket and handed it to her.

"Read it," Lauren said softly, nodding towards the bed. Confused but curious, Camila padded over to sit down, turning around the folded paper in her hands.

"Don't be scared," Lauren laughed, shoving her hands back in her pockets. "It's nothing bad."

Camila pursed her lips, tilting her head to the side as she slowly unfolded the paper. Her eyes widened when she saw the page was covered in Lauren's small print, crammed onto the sheet from top to bottom. She gave her girlfriend a questioning look.

"Go on," Lauren laughed, leaning over and kissing Camila's shoulder. "You'll like it."

With a soft nod, Camila scanned over the page a few times, letting her eyes adjust to the darkness in the room before she slowly read aloud.

Dear Camila,

I love you. You probably already know that but I just wanted to make that clear from the start. You deserve to hear it all the time.

blue ➸ camrenWhere stories live. Discover now