Feel It All (Part 1)

Chapter 2

Jesse

"It's going to be good, I promise. It's just an hour."

"Whatever, Mom," I scoff, shaking my head.

I open the passenger door and get out, slamming it hard behind me. I look at the front door of the brown, depressing building. There's an old man with a long, gray beard holding the door open. I sigh loudly and dramatically, like an attention-seeking girl. He smiles as I walk in the door, and I roll my eyes in response.

When I walk down the hall and turn to the left, following the arrows showing me where to go, I arrive at a room with kids about my age all sitting in a circle laughing and talking. I pull my phone out of the back pocket of my jeans and check the time. There's still five minutes until this thing starts. I could just walk out. I know how important this is to my mom, though, and a small part of me cares. I take the last drink out of my water bottle, the familiar burn traveling down my throat, and then toss it in the garbage can next to me.

I see a guy with brown hair and about the same height walking towards me.

"Hey, man," he greets me, extending his hand out for me to shake.

Reluctantly, I shake it.

"Uh, hey," I respond awkwardly, with a chuckle.

"I'm Mike. I've never seen you here before. This your first time?"

I nod my head, pursing my lips.

"Cool. Well, welcome. What's your name?"

"Jesse."

"Nice. Well, you can sit anywhere. There's snacks and water on the table over there. They're free," he informs me, pointing behind him.

"Okay, thanks," I dryly reply.

After standing around awkwardly for a minute debating whether or not to bolt, I take a seat in one of the blue chairs, one which no one is sitting next to. I cross my arms and as I look up, I see a girl walk in the room. She looks familiar. I do a double take when I realize it's not just a girl, but Audrey from school. I clear my throat and look to the side, hoping she doesn't see me. This is fucking embarrassing.
She stops walking when she notices me, and I look down at the floor, avoiding her gaze. She sits three chairs away from me, and out of the corner of my eye, I think I see her glance back at me a few times.

"Okay, we're going to get started."

I zone out and look at the floor, everything a little hazy because of the vodka I drank, and then I hear my name.

"Jesse, was it? Do you want to share?" Mike, the leader of the group, asks.

I clear my throat, taken by surprise.

"Share what?"

"What brought you here today. You don't have to if you're not ready, but we'd like to hear."

"Uh, I mean, aren't we all here for pretty much the same reason? Someone in our family is an addict? My mom's an addict. She wanted me to come here. Trust me, it's not by choice."

"Thank you for sharing, Jesse. And yes, we all do have someone in our family who struggles or has struggled with addiction, but everyone's story is different."

I look back down at the floor, annoyed. I hate this.

After the meeting ends, I'm once again standing around awkwardly, waiting for my mom to text me that she's here. I glance around the room, and Audrey is standing by the snacks table. I wonder why she's here. Ew, no. I don't care. During the meeting, Mike asked her if she wanted to share, and she said no. I didn't expect anything less.

My phone pings so I put it in my back pocket and quickly walk out before anyone else tries to talk to me.

When I get in the car, my mom stares at me like she's waiting for me to say something.

Sighing, I say, "What?"

"How was it?"

I just shrug my shoulders, because I'm not going to lie and say I loved it, and no other answer is going to satisfy her.

"Doesn't that girl go to your school?" she asks looking out the window.

I follow her gaze and see Audrey about to get into her car. I roll my eyes.

"I guess."

"Did you guys talk at all?"

I shake my head, just wanting her to shut the hell up so we can get the fuck out of here. She sighs loudly and puts the car in reverse, backing out of the parking spot.