Ascension│Bluelock x male reader

2.19. what i want

"Whaaat?! They held out?!"

"I can't believe it! I... I don't know what to say! Bluelock, astounding work!"

"Everyone is playing at their very best. From the U-20, we've seen incredible defence from Aiku, world class passes from Sae, and unimaginable goals from Y/N! And on the Bluelock side, we've seen individual talents from so many new players, coordination unlike any other in the Japanese league, and so many creative plays!"

"I don't think anyone expected this match to be so exciting! I thought Bluelock might put up a decent fight, but I never... I never thought this would be so close!"

"At this point, I don't know who's going to win! Either team could take it, at four goals apiece!"

"Seven minutes left... the U-20 restart the game with a corner kick!"

Sae slammed his foot into the ball. Y/N stood near the far post of the goal, marked only by Raichi. Rin was marking Aiku in front of him, and Isagi was marking Sendou behind him.

The ball came for him. Rin leapt for it, trying to header it away from Aiku, but it was Sae's ball. Of course it would avoid that. It curved in a smooth arc, moving right over the players packed into the goal box. Y/N took off towards the goal in an instant.

He relished the look on Raichi's face, the sudden despair and shock that etched itself into the other boy's features. See how he likes that, stalker. He was just a few steps from the goal. The ball was going to land right at his feet, at just the right time for him to shoot.

Then a body threw itself into his path.

Somehow, in some way, Isagi had gotten ahead of him. He must've started moving way before Y/N had. They reached the same point simultaneously, Y/N and Isagi's feet both slamming into the ball at the same time. Y/N tried to push it forwards, Isagi held it back.

The ball spun wildly into the air. Y/N didn't have a chance to see - he collided with Isagi, a shock running through his entire body as the two hit each other. He stumbled to the side, hitting the ground hard.

Then he was scrambling to his feet again, not even feeling the impact. Y/N hadn't even fully hit the floor before he was getting up, running right after the ball. Hiori caught it easily, and passed it on. But the boy was nothing but a flash of cyan to Y/N as he dashed right past him, solely focused on getting the ball.

Y/N couldn't get it.

He followed the ball up the field, then back down as Bluelock tried their utmost best to keep it from him. They passed fast, and Y/N was left behind as it drew further and further away from him.

He wasn't tired yet. Sae's training had really paid off. But he was drained, confused, and uncertain. What did he want? The last goal had done nothing to settle his nerves. Did he want to score? Was he just scoring for Kuroi?

What was he doing here?

It was a question that had come alive in his mind after his second goal, and it had just been growing in intensity all the while. Do I really want to score goals? Or do I score because it's the only thing I know?

Am I playing for myself? Or am I playing for Kuroi?

Is soccer my life because I enjoy it? Or do I play it because it is my life?

Y/N let out a frustrated sigh, as the ball went away from him, back to Hiori. He wanted to score. He desperately wanted to score, but wouldn't it just throw him further into this mental mess? Especially if Kuroi was there...

Body moving by itself, he ran for the ball. It wasn't even him wanting to do it, but rather, actions hard programmed into him over years of playing. He would have attempted to steal the ball, if not for someone else doing it before he could.