Message man; joshler

2

WARNING: trigger warnings in this chapter include: suicidal thoughts, tendencies, & attempts. if you are not comfortable please do skip. if you need someone to talk to we are both here for you, stay strong ❤️

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Josh's Point of View (as written by tayloryorkyall)

I sat there watching my favorite movie of all time: Mean girls. This movie was like the best movie ever when it came out. Also this is when i knew i was a very gay kid . It was my epiphany.

That was just the numerous reasons of my love for this book. Mean girls and my sisters took the television from me , i sighed and got up . I pulled my phone out of pocket and opened my kik app.

Josho: Hey!

Tyjo is typing...

I eagerly waited for his reply after five minutes of waiting i got scared.

Josho : Tyler?

the "R" appeared, meaning he had read it, but he wasn't texting back.

I sighed and put my phone down , i need to get out bad. I told my mom i was taking a walk and she eagerly nodded, understanding that i was down.

I put my black hoodie on and started walking around town. I enjoyed walking through the chill night, i felt a sense of peace. I passed by the bridge and saw a man or a teenager wanting to plunge down.

As he tried to attempt it, i grabbed his elbow.

"You're too good to die!" I yelled and embraced the man or whoever he was into a hug.

He cried and cried in my arms.

"What's your name?" I asked softly, he just sobbed and mumbled something I couldn't understand.

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(tyler's pov)

that feeling came back, and it's not going away. no matter how many fucking breathing exercises I do it won't go away. my body feels as though it's shutting down, taking me away from controlling it.

I feel empty, dead, and scared. my head is swarming with the thoughts I thought I didn't have to ever hear again. I feel as though I don't have control anymore, everything is falling apart around me per say.

I walked over to my desk and pulled out a piece of paper, my hand began scribbling words down. my body felt vacant, I soon stopped writing and stepped back from my desk.

I went down stairs telling my mom that I was going for a walk a and that I loved her, she responded with an "okay" & "love you too." she most likely thought nothing of it, I used to go on walks a lot at night, so that's why.

my legs carried me downtown and around everywhere. I was exhausted by the time we reached the destination: the bridge. right then, my head felt as if it were to explode. whispers filling the air, yelling, screaming. doing whatever they could do.

"n-no.. no please. i-i promised my mom . I p-promised josh this wouldn't happen again. leave me be.." I cried, the voices only grew louder by then.

I soon found my body hoisting myself up on the cement wall of the bridge. I looked down at the water, it was dark but you could hear it crashing against the terrain.

"IS THIS WHAT IT TAKES? TO NOT HURT ANYONE ANYMORE? I DON'T WANNA CAUSE PAIN, I WANT IT TO END, FOR GOOD. IM JUST A USELESS SOUL OCCUPYING A DESTROYED VESSEL." I screamed, my voice cracking with emotion.

maybe this is the right thing to do, my mother won't have to be constantly burdened by her "crazy" son. she can actually go out the house without having to check if I'm alright numerous times in the day.

I ruined my mothers life with my selfish actions, all I've caused her is pain. I don't want to do that anymore, and josh. if we keep talking he'll ending being hurt too. I can't handle it all, its just too much.

I closed my eyes and took a breathe,

"don't let me be gone.." I fell forward only to be jerked back abruptly and then the person screamed.

"you're too good to die!" he pulled me into his chest and I sobbed.

I heard him ask what my name was but I just continued sobbing. I mumbled incoherent things and he just sighed and held me closer.

"t-tyler." I croaked, he looked down at me and scrunched his eyebrows together as if he was trying to figure something out. his face soon softened and he smiled,

"hey tyler, i'm josh. mind telling me why a cool guy like you wanted to end something so precious to mankind?"

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cliffhanger whoops pls don't kill me ;^(

as I said I hope I didn't trigger anyone, if you need to talk to someone in me and TayorYorkYall are always here.

stay strong lovelies :)

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