Marahuyo

Kabanata 20

The next morning, I was about to text Gian, but I suddenly received a message from him.

It says, 'Can we talk? I'm outside your boarding house'.

Mabuti na lang ay nakaayos na ako at papalabas na para pumasok. I quickly grabbed my things and headed outside. Naabutan ko siyang naglalakad nang pabalik-balik hanggang sa lumingon siya sa akin nang marinig niya ang pagsara ng gate.

"Arianne," hindi makapaniwalang sambit niya. Mukhang hindi niya inaasahan na haharapin ko siya ngayon. "Can we talk?"

I nodded.

"Why are you doing this?" The way he asked it, he seems tired and frustrated which is valid. I understand that I exhaust his emotions these past few days. But I'm here to set things straight
.
Napalunok ako bago ko tuluyang ibuhos ang gustong sabihin ng puso ko.

"I don't know what to do, Gian. I'm scared that I might hurt you. After secretly admiring you for years, it's hard for me to believe that this is really happening. I don't know how to handle it."

His eyes widen. "Years? You like me since—"

"Since high school. The shy and awkward girl around you, the one who's admiring you from afar, the one who's contented and happy just by seeing your presence, and the one who is always proud of your big or even small achievements," I confessed.

My heart is starting to betray me. I tried to be calm, but I didn't know that telling what your heart longs to say for so long is overwhelming. That if I'm not strong enough to express them all, it might engulf me.

Natigilan siya. "Are you... are you Miss Ey?"

I froze when I heard the name of my dummy account, the one I buried in the past and tried to forget. The mask I once used to express my feelings for him.

That's when I realized the words I've told him just now is one of the things I expressed using the account.
Naaalala pa niya ang mga sinabi ko doon?

"Yes," I confirmed.

Napaawang ang labi niya. "I didn't know. I didn't respond because my heart already belongs to someone."

"You are not supposed to know," I said but then, it hits me when I heard the last thing he said. "You were dating someone before?"

Mabilis siyang napailing. "No. I didn't know that you and Miss Ey are the same person. I didn't bother to find her because you already have my heart, Arianne."

Tumayo ang buhok sa batok ko dahil sa narinig. Nanlaki ang mata ko habang seryoso siyang nakatingin sa akin, with his fond eyes. Did I hear it right?

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" I asked. I still can't believe it; I didn't notice any signs.

He smiled shyly and looked around. Luckily, it's early morning and no one is around to see us. "I'm sorry it takes me so long; I was young back then. I was too scared about my feelings; it's my first time and it overwhelmed me."

"It was my first time too," hindi makapaniwalang sabi ko.

Sabay kaming napangiti, hindi makatingin nang diretso sa isa't isa.

"I guess you are braver than me," he joked.

I looked at him sincerely. "I'm not brave, Gian. I'm scared that we might hurt each other along the way."

He suddenly offered his hand. Sandali akong nagtaka bago ko ito tuluyang inabot. There's an electrifying feeling when our skin touched each other's hand, but it's warm...

"Just let me court you, Arianne. If you feel like you are not ready for a relationship, I'm willing to wait."

He squeezed my hand lightly.

But I squeezed it hard. "What if it will take a long time for me to decide? You will get tired of me."

He pulled my hand closer. His face closer to mine that I won't be able to escape his eyes. His dark shade iris become one of my comforts.

Then he smiled, making his eyes disappeared.

"I won't. I was able to keep my feelings for a long time and I'm willing to express it to you no matter how long it takes."