Always Have Been, Always Will Be

23

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Chapter 23

Beautiful Scenery

Being in such situation was what would it be like if someone was to tell you that behind a closed door was your biggest fear. Then, you decided to take a peak, only to find that the room was filled with mirrors, all pointing at you. Because you saw your image on those mirrors, you immediately assumed that your biggest fear was yourself.

Then, throughout the course of time, you met a person. They taught you how it was like to be with you; what a joy you were to be around, how interesting you were...how lovable...how valuable...and they completely shifted the way you saw yourself—as if that person lend you their eyes and contradicted the already given descriptions you attached to your persona.

And the next time you enter that room again, it was still your reflection on the mirror. But because of that one person, you quickly realized that instead of the problem being you, it was the negativity that forced you to think that you were the storm you keep on running away from all along.

Then you realized...it was never you—you just needed someone to make you realize that.

And Sauyer did.

Sure, I was still afraid of the uncertainties the future held for us, but that fear won't ever go away. In the end, it was still the matter of how secured you were holding on to that one string you didn't ever want to let go off.

So when that day comes, I hope I have all the courage to keep my grasp tight and anchored.

"What's it like to...have me as a boyfriend?" Hindi ko napigilang magtanong sa kaniya habang yakap-yakap niya pa rin ako.

Dahil sa modo ng kung saan kami ngayon, naisipan kong iyon ang tamang oras para magtanong. His room was cozy, we were tangled up in his sheets, his body near mine, his lips on my neck.

Matagal ko na iyon iniisip—simula pa noong naging kami, dahil aware naman ako na hindi ako gano'n ka showy at affectionate. Base sa kung paano siya tuwing magkasama kami, napagtanto kong hinahanap niya rin siguro iyon sa akin.

"What are you talking about?" Ramdam ko ang paggalaw ng kaniyang labi sa aking leeg. His voice was also muffled by my skin.

I licked my lips. "You know...hindi ka ba nagsisisi?" Mahina kong ulit, tumitingin sa haligi sa likuran niya.

Bakas sa tono ko na hindi ko iyon itatanong nang basta lang, kaya siguro naisipan niyang seryoso ako.

He lifted up his head from my neck and met my eyes. "Are you seriously asking me that, Elize?" He uttered in his sleepy and husky voice.

I chuckled. "Why? It's a valid question..."

He groaned softly and collapsed his head on the pillow beside us. After he recovered, he laid sideways, his knuckles supporting his cheek as it was elevated from the pillow, and his vacant hand started to play with my hair again.

He sighed and gave in to my question. "I mean...you're a little bratty sometimes...most times, actually." He laughed sparingly. Sumama ang aking tingin sa kaniya. "And you're also a little harsh. Your mouth's a devil, and your glares give me burns."