Rainbows After the Rain (Fuck and Forget Series #1)

42.

Win

Tahimik akong nakasandal sa railings habang nagpapahangin. Hindi ko kinaya ang ingay sa hall kaya umalis muna ako para magpahangin dito sa rooftop.

Magulo rin ang isip ko eh. Hindi ko naiintindihan ang sarili ko. Gusto kong bumalik kami sa dati. Gusto kong bumalik siya sa akin.

It was always been what I really wanted when I came back here. Pero ngayon, may...pumipigil sa akin. May hindi tama sa nararamdaman ko. May sugat na...matagal ng naghilom pero 'yong matinding kirot na dulot niyon ay nando'n parin.

"Bakit ka umalis?"

Sinuklay ko ang buhok patalikod nang marinig ang boses niya sa aking likuran.

"Hindi mo ba nagustuhan 'yong kanta?"

I shook my head, staring at the city lights and tall buildings in front of me. Ni hindi ko siya nilingon kahit pa alam kong kanina pa siya nakatayo sa likuran ko.

He probably followed me when I left the venue. I had to do that because the voices in my head were louder than the peoples shouts and screams.

"Maingay sa loob." tipid na sagot ko.

I heard his footsteps towards me. Sa sulok ng mata ko, mabigat ang mga hakbang niya palapit sa akin.

He stood beside me as he leaned his left shoulders on the railings, with his body fully facing my side. He was tilting his head to see the buildings in front of us.

"Why did you follow me here?"

Nilaro-laro ko sa kamay ang hawak kong bote ng alak. Dinala ko iyon paglabas ko kanina. Kung ako lang ang dating Nick, I should've been smoking to calm my messy mind now. To put my heart at ease.

But I already stopped that. Kahit noong sa France, bihira ako uminom. I would only drink occasionally.

"Maingay rin eh..."

I chugged my beer as I wiped my lips after, without taking my eyes off the buildings and even towers... that obviously... became one of his projects.

I chuckled. He's really a great person now. Mabibigat ang mga projects niya at malalaki rin ang payments. I also heard that he's under Zero's older brother's company, Zeno. And to see him this successful feels like... sacrificing me to choose his dreams were actually worth it. Even though it almost killed me.

"Nico..."

My heart made a sudden thump upon hearing that name. The name he made for me... that only he can use as well.

I looked at him upon hearing that. He was now leaning both of his arms above the railings while also resting his chin above those. He was smiling a little but the reflected sadness in his eyes were so obvious.

"Sayang tayo 'no?"

And with the help of the moonlight, I can see Kaede's sad eyes and faint smile while looking up to the moon. Kitang-kita ko sa kaniyang mga mata ang matinding lungkot..matinding pagsisisi..matinding sakit... na dinulot ng mga sugat na pagmamahal ang sanhi.

Mabagal ang pagsasalita niya, may malungkot na ngiti sa mga labi. Nagbaba ako ng tingin sa hawak na bote at napangiti nang mapait.

"Yeah..."

We were so happy and in love. We were so healthy. But the world ruined us. The world forced us to grow separately. The world took him from me. The people ruined the love I bleed, protecting.

We were up against the whole world and we simply lost. Because we weren't that strong to fight. Hindi namin kinaya dahil hindi namin piniling ilaban. Sinubukan kong ilaban, pero pinili niyang ipatalo. I fought alone. And I lost myself in the process of wanting to fight for him. For us.