Wild and Out of Control

|chapter twenty three|

"Don't let your guard down around Father, Dani. Once you turn your back, he has the upper hand. And Father always wins when he has the upper hand."

- page 112, Book of Antony

------------------------------

|danica|

My father, the great Alastor Hawthorne, is not a man at all. He's the devil reincarnate in the older doppelganger of my brother. Or I guess my brother was the younger doppelganger of him.

     The earliest memories I have of my Father are fuzzy, but they always were in the backyard of our home. When I was young, I would play hide-and-seek with Antony and see Father watching us beside Mother as they stood on the porch. Or when Father would watch as I trained with the trainer on the porch. Or me watching Antony train with Father. Never me. He never trained me personally and always had someone else doing it.

    Like he never wanted to get close to me.

    Not that I wanted it. Okay, that's partially a lie. I may have wanted to be close to my Father when I was younger. But after what he did to Antony I kissed goodbye any hope of a daddy-daughter relationship. Even though Antony eventually forgave Father for what he did, what he did is unforgivable in my eyes.

     So when I walk into General Sorrengail's office twenty minutes and a fresh pair of clothes later and see my Father sitting behind the desk, all these feelings come racing to the surface. The rage when I remember the neglect and "punishments" he gave. The disappointment of not having a proper father figure. The sadness of growing up to an absent father and a ghost mother.

     "Danica," my Father's stoic voice reaches me and pulls me out of my feelings. "You're twenty minutes late." He stands, straightening the lapels of his general uniform. "And you know how much I hate tardiness."

     Right. Straight to business then. "Not even going to congratulate me on bonding a dragon? Correction, the biggest, the most powerful, and the most badass dragon known to dragon kind?"

     "The biggest, the most powerful, and the most badass dragon known to dragonkind, eh? Is that what I am, Fiery One?" Azare's teasing voice interjected in my mind.

    "Shut up."

    "Drop the dramatics, Danica. It doesn't suit you." He leans against the desk, the wood groaning under his weight. He wasn't a big man but he packed on a generous amount of muscle. Not as much as Riorson, but still. Gods, am I comparing him to Riorson? What is wrong with me? "I knew you were going to bond with a magnificent dragon. You're a Hawthorne."

     "So why are you here, General?" I glance around the office, taking in the bookshelves and the walls that are covered in maps and charts. There are tiny colored flags dotted on the map that represent where army camps are stationed. I take it and memorize it to memory just in case I need it in the future.

     "I'm your Father." His left eye twitches but he seems to drop it. "But I'm here as your General. Kaori has told me that you're the best rider in your year—learning quickly and following Kaori's hard flying maneuvers when others couldn't, though it's only the normal training exercises riders in combat fly in."

     "Thanks...I guess?" I took that as a compliment as he rarely gives those out. "So what is this visit about? Learning about your daughter's progress? I don't think the almighty General Hawthorne would visit Basgiath just for that."

     "No, I guess it is not. I'm not here as your father. I'm here as your General." He takes a deep breath but hides it by clearing his throat. It's quick, not even noticeable, but I learned his tells early on. His left eye twitching whenever he's mad, his lips thinning whenever he's disappointed, and deep breaths covered in coughs whenever he's annoyed. "We'll fly together."