He's Drunk

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A/N: I know Steve can't get drunk, but let's pretend.

T O N Y

"(Y/N)s hotter than you, hotter than you... HA! And especially you!" Tony said, pointing to the girls at the bar.

"Tony, honey, let's leave these girls alone." You said, sending an apologetic smile to them.

"No. I have to tell them I'm off limits, or else they are gonna be all over me like.... like... fire and butterflies?"

"Moths. And honey, none of them are 'all over you', they're laughing at you." You whispered, mocking him as you pulled him back.

"Someone's getting jelou- *hiccup* jellllooouuusss" He said, with a big grin.

You started chuckling, "You're funny, Tony."

"Oooooohhhh, so.. you are? Hee hee hee!" He said, starting to laugh like a maniac.

"My gosh." You whispered face palming.

You finally got him into the car and he started to attack your neck with his lips, trying to get on your lap.

"Tony, you're drunk. I am not going to do this with you right now. Especially not in the car." You said, pushing him back in his seat.

"Buuuuttt (YYYYY/NNNNN), I love you. I wa-*hiccup* I want you! You're my... my.... mine..."

You started laughing as he drifted off to sleep on your shoulder.
•••••••••••••••

S T E V E

Steve walked into the house, muttering under his breath.

Then all of a sudden he started to shout, "Baaabbbbyyy! I miss you! I-"

"I'm right here, Steve."

"You returned from your bug war!"

"What?"

"Earlier, at the... at the, the, uh, Stark place," He said, pondering on the name of Tony's house, "you said that there was a bug war." He said, making weird circular movements with his hands, as if they were explaining with his words.

"I said killing those bugs was like a war, I didn't go to war, Steve." You said, chuckling.

"But I thought-"

"I even drove you here. I think it's time for America to get some sleep."

"AMERICA NEVER SLEEPS!" He shouted, holding up one finger, then dancing when he said, " We only paaartaaaaayyyy!" making you laugh so hard.

"Yeah, yeah," you said calming your laughter, "It's definitely time for bed, c'mon I'll join you."

"A pretty lady is gonna join me in bed? Really?"
You nodded, and he shouted, "Yay! Then to bed we go!"

He the was scurrying to your bedroom like a child.
•••••••••••••••

B R U C E

"Beer is weird. Ha ha ha. Weird. Weird is a weird word. Weird, weird, weird, weird, weird, wei-"

"Bruce, let's go home, huh?" You said, as he kept raising his voice with each word.

"Why? Is it because I'm weird. Weird, weird, weird, weird, weird."

"Bruce."

"Honey." He said, and then started to laugh while grabbing onto the edge of the bar.

"Bruce, I thin-"

"Did you know I have a thing? It's... it's..." cue hysteric laughter.

"Bruce, Bruce, you're being loud."

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