Exchange student - one year ᵗᵃᵉᵏᵒᵒᵏ

31

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Jungkook could feel his heart drumming uncontrollably in his chest as if it wanted to burst out when he felt the gentle touch of Taehyung's lips on his own. It was a feeling that completely overwhelmed him, a feeling he had never experienced before, not even in the most tender moments with Taemin, a feeling that made him shudder and tremble at the same time.

He closed his eyes and let his hands glide over Taehyung's soft cheeks while his fingers buried themselves in the dark hair. He had often wondered what it would be like to touch him, to kiss him, but the reality far surpassed all his wildest dreams and fantasies.
He felt Taehyung's hands move hesitantly up his back, as if he wanted to pull him closer, and Jungkook returned the pressure he felt by snuggling even closer to him.

Taehyung was paralyzed when he felt Jungkook's lips on his own. It was as if someone had taken his breath away, while a shiver ran down his spine and covered him in goosebumps. It was a kiss that was so much more than all the fleeting touches he had experienced in his past.

He felt Jungkook start to cry again, his tears mingling between her cheeks and leaving a salty taste on her lips. It was a kiss that made him feel like he finally knew who he was and what he wanted, a kiss that flooded him with a wave of emotions he had never felt before. The dark-haired man knew that he shouldn't have allowed this kiss, but he couldn't help himself. Taehyung also had to find out something.

Jungkook felt his tears flowing unstoppably down his cheeks as he felt the gentle touch of Taehyung's lips on his. He had waited so long to experience this moment and now that it was finally here, it felt like his heart was going to shatter into a thousand pieces. He had actually fallen in love with his dark-haired exchange partner, the boy who had once hurt him with his contemptuous looks and comments.

When had that even happened?
When, between the countless hurtful words and the silent moments?
He didn't even know when it had happened to him. One day he simply felt this stirring feeling inside him, this tingling prickle that wouldn't let him go, and the pure jealousy that drove him mad with every touch that wasn't for him.

He had fallen in love without realizing it, and now that he finally admitted it, it felt like he was losing everything.

They slowly broke away from each other and looked deep into each other's eyes, while tears continued to roll from the blonde's eyes. He didn't want to blame Taehyung for getting involved with Taemin again, but it was still his fault. Jungkook wanted to use his ex to suppress the feelings he was developing for his temporary roommate.
Why did feelings have to be so incredibly complicated? Why couldn't he just be happy that he had finally kissed the boy he obviously loved instead of dealing with guilt and confusion?

But feelings were like that - unpredictable, confusing and sometimes painful.

Jungkook watched as Taehyung opened his lips slightly, as if he wanted to say something, but then he closed them again and looked down at the ground instead. The blonde felt his heart pounding painfully in his chest, as if it was beating against his ribs as he waited for Taehyung to say something, anything that would give him a clue as to what was going on in his head.
"I...," Taehyung finally began, his voice little more than a breath lost in the cool evening air. "We should finally go home."
Jungkook nodded slowly, his throat tight as if invisible hands were clasping it. He knew he had to give Taehyung time to process this, but he needed that time now too. He had to process this painful realization himself first and he especially had to process what had happened at the party.

The walk home was filled with a heavy, oppressive silence, broken only by the occasional hum of the engine. Jungkook had had to call his father out of his sleep to ask him to pick them up, as there were no buses running through the deserted streets at this late hour. Neither the blond-haired man nor the dark-haired man had actually planned to go home, but to spend the night somewhere else.