Calmness In The Midst Of Chaos (Obsession Series #2)

CHAPTER 37

CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN

Talk

At the age of twenty-seven, I can say that I am already successful in life. I already have a car, a house, businesses, and properties. I also got my license as an architect. But even though I'm already successful, there's still that feeling that something is missing... Na parang may nawawalang parte sa pagkatao ko. At alam ko na doon lang ako tuluyang magiging masaya kapag nakumpleto ko na ang sarili ko.

Nakuha ko na lahat ng pangarap ko, maliban lang sa isa... To grow old with the person who completes me. The person I'm still crazy about to this day. The person who makes me realize how wonderful life is.

Even if I try so hard to hide what I feel, the loneliness that I feel whenever I wake up still doesn't fail to remind me that I will never feel whole again... without him.

Whenever I think about the six years that I didn't see him, gusto kong bumilib sa sarili ko. How did I manage to endure that? Tang ina, anim na taon 'yon, eh. Anim na taon kong hindi siya nakasama... Pero 'yung pagmamahal ko para sa kaniya, hindi man lang nabawasan. Mas lalo lang tumitindi.

In the past years, I tried to keep myself busy just to distract myself and keep him from constantly occupying my thoughts. Pinilit kong maging mas better kaysa sa dating ako. Inaayos niya ang sarili at ganoon din ang ginawa ko. Para kung sakali mang maisipan na niyang balikan ako, mas matatag na ako. So that if he ever lets me back into his world, I won't leave so easily.

Mahawakan ko lang ulit ang mga kamay niya, I swear to heaven and earth, this time, I will never let him go.

Araw-araw, pinipilit kong maging mas better pa. He doesn't know how much I want to build my future with him. He makes me want to become a better person so I can deserve him.

Maybe that's why he never left my system in the past six years-because even I refuse to forget him. It's like my own self doesn't want to remove him from my system. I want to engrave him not just in my memory and heart, but even in my soul-I want it to remember him.

I don't want to forget him. I don't want to move on from him. Because moving on means accepting our fate as strangers. I'd rather have my heart broken... and die loving him... than forget him.

He's not perfect, but I love all of his flaws and imperfections. Who cares about perfection? Even the moon, who looks incredibly beautiful and magnificent, is full of craters.

Ang daming taon ang lumipas at nasayang naming dalawa. Tapos ngayong bumalik na siya, bibiruin niya ako na siya na lang ang pakasalan ko? He has no idea how long I've been dreaming of that.

He just has to say he's not joking, and I swear, I'll arrange our wedding tomorrow. Sino ba naman ang aayaw doon? Tang ina, pangarap ko iyon, eh.

Lumayo ng kaunti sa akin si Laurent nang lumingon ako sa kaniya. Hindi niya inalis ang titig sa akin. There was an emotion playing in his eyes, but I couldn't name what it was.

"You're getting... married?" Ulit niya? Para bang hindi siya matatahimik hangga't hindi naririnig sa akin ang kumpirmasyon.

I don't know what got into my head, but I slowly nodded at his question, suppressing the smile that wanted to break free from my lips.

Ikakasal na rin naman talaga ako... Basta ba pumayag lang siya.

Umalon ang leeg niya bago nag-iwas ng tingin.

I bit my lower lip to stifle my smile. Base sa reaksiyon niya... mukhang hindi lang ako ang hindi pa nakakapag-move on, huh?

"Babalik na ako ng US bukas," biglang sabi niya sa mga kasama namin sa mesa. Mukhang masama pa ang loob niya nang sabihin iyon.