Three years later
I was busy with the story that I always wanted to write- Theo and my story. I have reached the point of the story, exactly where I stopped with Neil. Our breakup in June, 2014. I was supposed to write the chapters after that. It was 1:00 am and I was still in the office, as usual. It was my only hangout place now. I would meet Neil some of the times, here in the office or outside as he permanently moved to NY. The rest of my gang was still in NY but working at different places. None of them was as workaholic as me, so they would all keep meeting in reunions. After my graduation party, I haven't met or talked to any of them, except on their birthdays.
They wouldn't let me stay out of their reunions, in the beginning but after sometime, they too got tired of making thousand calls to me, just for one meeting. I was all by myself now, most of the times. The rest of the times, I'd meet Neil or to be precise, he'd find me and meet.
I had locked myself into my own world, in my own shell that would not let anyone or anything in, unless I let them in. It was fine this way. Many times, I'd think about Theodore, like what would he be doing now, where would he be but then I didn't want to go back to his black hole and that painful time.
Apart from the security and me, there was no one in the office building. The security guard had also stopped asking me now to leave, as he knew I would not leave before 3 or 4 in the morning. Sometimes, I didn't go home at all. This was how my life was now- Office: my first home, My apartment : my option of home.
It's been three and a half year since I've been working in S&C and till the date, I haven't taken a single leave, even if I was sick, even if my boss pleaded me to take rest sometime. I would never let myself be without any work because that was the only way till now that I managed without Theo. I didn't allow myself to think about him by keeping myself engaged in work. The only time when I wouldn't stop him from coming to my mind was when I used to work on the story and couldn't stop him from coming to my dreams. Those broken dreams still haunts me very single night. All this time I have been living on the edge of those broken dreams.
I logged into my Wattpad account to continue working on the next chapters of my story. My plan was to first finish the story on Wattpad and then find a publisher if it turns to be even a normal book for reading. The only reason that I wanted to publish this story was to reach out to Theodore Davis Bentley and let him know the things he never came to know after he left. I told him once quoting few lines from the song, Postcards by James Blunt,
"You know sometimes it's hard to see,
Or say the words that torture me,
But inside I know exactly how I feel.
Things that I can't say out loud,
I'll find a place to write it down,
I hope that they will find you in the end. "
And that was exactly what I was doing now.
I clicked on my username that was on the right hand side of the window on the monitor. I chose works from the list that popped down after clicking. I continued writing with my next chapter, in short.
After the breakup, we didn't talk for a month or so. One day, I received his text asking me how was I? How can he ask me how was I, knowing how I would be without him. I felt like he was making fun out of me. We got into an argument after I replied to his message sarcastically and finally he stopped replying for that day. Next day, he left a message saying he wants to talk something important. I asked him what is so important that he wants to talk now. And, the very next moment I got a call from him. He was continuously apologizing for leaving me and wanted to come back. He said he didn't know why he did that. Staying away wouldn't result in anything. He said why should we pay for what Gailyn did. But I was still angry on him for leaving me so when he said I love you to me, I didn't replied to it, even though I wanted to. This went on for few days. I took all my anger out by breaking the drinking promise with Susan and his cousin, just the next day of Theo's birthday and that was when I told him I love you. When I got back to my senses, I had to hear a lot from him but then for how long could he have stayed angry with me. We got back together after this again. Everything went smoothly till December, 2014. I met him again in Houston for a day or two during my vacations. We had started with little of the dirty talks on a small intensity. He was my private google. About everything, I was unkown, almost, before he lighted me up. I didn't even know what a vibrator was, until he explained me. I was that dumb in such things. We were quite frank now with each other but again in limits. I had my limits, beyond which I wasn't comfortable yet. He was busy during the first half of the December because of his exams. As he finished his exams, I thought we'd get back on track now but no, we didn't. From January he got so busy that he had very less time for me. I fought with him for this reason so many times but then he'd say that he tries his best to handle all the other things and me, but fails everytime as time management is his weakness. He'd say that he is not left with time for himself only. And, for that I'd feel very bad.
