The Winner

Lie A Little Better

"Julia, if we're gonna do this, you need to stop messing around with James."

She's in the middle of detox and we're in the middle of a fight.

This is fun.

"He falls asleep within a half hour. He just needs someone with him until he falls asleep. Then he's fine." Julia crosses her arms over her chest as we argue in our bedroom. She's shaking and cold, and I have a feeling she wants to lay down with James just as much as he wants her to.

"So when we get married is he coming on our fucking honeymoon so you can help him fall asleep?" I scoff while pacing the room.

"You're being insensitive, Nate. He's stuck in that body, depressed and feeling alone. I'm helping James fall asleep. He's already upset."

We can both hear the commotion in the other room.  I really thought once James got his voice back things would be different. He can express what he wants and how he feels, but the wiring in his brain -it's still not right yet.

"Do you have to keep laying in his God damn bed, though? You can't just sit next to him or rub his back to calm him or some shit? C'mon Julia. He's playing games."

"He's NOT playing games!" She marches right up to me to get in my face but is too damn short to reach, making me smirk, which irritates her more.

"I can't believe you think that! James is struggling and you know it. I'd do the same for you if you were in his shoes. And I'd hope you'd do the same for me. Christ, maybe you wouldn't!" And with that, Julia leaves the room angry and slams the door behind her.

For fuck's sake, I can't win with that woman!

I also can't live with myself knowing she's mad at me. I follow Julia out to the living room. The sight of James sitting on the couch with his head dropped to his hands reminds me of a child. A child who can't help themselves or control their emotions. Jonah is trying to be the one to help him get ready for bed so it's not Julia doing it every single night. The one night she wasn't home, the night I proposed to her, James had a panic attack until four in the morning. 

Julia stomps over to James and pulls his hand harshly, still mad at me. He stands up and she drags him across the room.

"C'mon James," Julia turns around and glares at me.

"I'LL help you get ready for bed." She pulls James by the hand to his room while giving me a dirty look.

I sigh and plop down on the couch.

"He's never going to learn to be self-sufficient if she keeps giving in." Jonah reminds me like I don't already fucking know this.

"Ugh. She's so damn stubborn." I look up at the nurse agreeing with him but unable to stop Julia.

"I can HEAR you!" She yells from James's room in rare form tonight.

"SHE'S SO DAMN STUBBORN!" I yell  back just to get a rise out of her.

*****

*Julia*

"He's such a child. C'mere." I sit James down and help him untie his sneakers. 

"You try and untie your left one and I will do the right. Ok?"  I kneel down in front of him and he nods. I really think sometimes he forgets he has a voice.

He tries SO hard to untie that left shoe and I can see the frustration in his eyes  when his fingers don't grasp the lace.

"I can't get it." James sniffs on the brink of tears but keeps trying. "I can't fucking get it."  His words remind me that he is a grown adult struggling with basic skills. He is NOT playing games.  He doesn't want to be like this. The frustration takes over and he covers his eyes with his forearm like he has done since he came out of his coma, and cries.