Unseen

-28-

        I've become a stalker.

No, I'm not proud of it, but what else can I do? I need to know a few things as I wait for Diana to come back to Street. First, I need to know where Roxi lives and when Diana will arrive. So I actually roam around her to hear her conversations, leaving James all alone, but that's actually a nice thing. It's actually a new type of torture to be around Roxi and Adeline a whole day. They are not shallow, they only have moments, but they are so mean. Not like Diana in the sense they attack the person directly, but in a more cowardly way. They talk behind everyone's back, making vicious comments, laughing at almost everyone. More than once I want to slap them for the things they say. I do mess with them a few times, though, when James is not around. Just scaring them, or just hiding their things. Nothing lethal, but enough to give them a headache.

I've tried a few more times saying things to Adeline and Roxi. What I've learnt about that experiment is that I can't exactly be heard or anything, but I can kind of transmit my intention. For some reason, Adeline is more perceptive than Roxi. Most of the time my coaxing doesn't work with the cherry blossom-haired girl, and more often than not it does work with Adeline. I assume it's a thing about mental strength.

I tried making Roxi poke her nose in public, many, many, many times, to no avail. There's no way I can make her do something, but I can bring up certain topics. Like put a seed in their heads and see what happens. Besides making her call Diana to come, nothing else has worked as I expected. I tried to make her think James hates her and to stay away from him. Apparently, all I could transmit was James so they spent about an hour talking about him. I hated that hour. Maybe it was two minutes, but it felt like an hour of torture.

Once I know all I needed, I go back to James. It was all the rest of Thursday and the whole Friday that I spent around Roxi and even if it's been barely twenty-four hours, I've missed James terribly. I can't believe how used I am to be around him. I've naturally forgotten that other people can't listen to me and that whatever I say is just a shout in the void.

I find James in the library. I stop a few steps away, just watching him. He's drawing again, with his headphones on, keeping the world shut out. That is how I met him, when he didn't let anyone in. Somehow he let me in his small bubble. He's let me see his smiles, his caring side. Something no one else has seen, not even his family because they've turned their backs on him, too.

I want to go up to him and hug him so tight from behind, to wrap my arms tightly around his waist, resting my chin on his shoulder, letting our cheeks touch. I want to comfort this lonely boy, but I can't do that. For as long as I keep carrying this sorrow with me I can't touch him.

I think another big reason why I want to finish this deal with Diana is so I can get rid of these dark feelings. To leave them behind so I can finally touch him, hug him, without letting him experience the pain I live with. It's okay if it's cold, but I don't want it to be painful.

Although I'm dying to hug him, I just walk up to him and sit on the table, next to him. The moment he sees me there his smile is automatic, the sparkle in his eyes comes back. He looks happy.

"Had fun with Roxi?" he asks me and I roll my eyes.

"The time of my life and no-life," I reply, making him chuckle. "She's bully just like Diana. The only difference is that she does it from behind. Not sure what's worse," I muse and James seems to ponder.

"I think Roxi's way hurts less, but it's equally low," he comments and I have to agree. "So, did you find out all you wanted?"

"Yup. Diana arrives tomorrow, but she can't come with her husband or child, saying it's too soon for the baby to travel," I reply, kicking my legs in a very childish way.