World vs me

Do i want revenge ?

I want to pick up a brick and throw it at a window. Vandalize a random person's car. Rip up everyone's mail. I can't put together why all this anger fills me. I know I cannot keep moving like this. Every time I feel good, it's always something reminding me that I am hurting. It never stops. I want to stop this. I want this to be over. Even though I don't really have a motive to ruin your life, I feel like there's no need for one. Every day I wake up, i feel haunted by your voice. I wanted you to forgive me for my wrongdoings. I still kept doing things that wouldn't benefit me because I just didn't care. Life is hard when you care. Life is painful when you care. So, I wanted to mold my life into a care-free one. I seem to attract the people who don't recognize someone hiding their true feelings, I'm not really complaining about that. I want to be at peace with the world. I want to walk outside and feel like a blooming flower. I never knew it would be so hard to heal from something I didn't even know was real. It felt real at the last minute. I can't walk away from it. I crave to feel that feeling again. It's the type of feeling that you can't find within someone else. It's too much sometimes. I want revenge, but I need peace.