Just Hold My Hand

Chapter Ten- Charlotte

Author's Note:

Okay okay okay I know these are usually at the end, but hey this is a different sort of day! I finally know exactly where I am going with this story! Yay! You are going to all love it! It may be rough at some points, but it will all be worth it! Please don't lose hope yet you'll be glad you stayed along for the ride! Lot's of love, and as always my thanks!

Always truly yours,

Lily

~~~~~~~~~~ Charlott'es P.O.V.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yesterday was by far the best and worst day of my life.

Why was it the best? I found out that the reason for all my fears was killed in a sudden car accident. By a loss of blood to make it even sweeter. Seems like a sort of payback for all the blood loss he caused me all through ten years of life. Another reason it was the best, the people coming to visit came early last night. Guess who they were? My cousins Karen and Derrek! I love them so much! Karen is just as a sister to me, while Derrek is like the brother I always wanted, but never actually needed because of Andrew. Andrew.

And so leads me to why it was the worst day of my life. Andrew. He has a girlfriend. Not just any girlfriend though, the love of his life. I should be angry with him, but he is totally unaware of my love for him. I have to play my part, the part I have chosen to keep. I need to be the supportive best friend that is expected of me. I can't let my emotions show through to him, he needs to believe I am there for him and am happy for him.

So there is why. I'm not positive which out weighs which. Probably about even. My life always cancels itself out. When something wonderful happens, tragedy is waiting in the wings, waiting to ruin my happiness.

Not I am stuck. I have a blind date with a boy who probably already hates me for my rejection, I have to go shopping for a date that I don't want to be on, and better still I have to go with Andrew's true love. His true love, who is sadly not me. Another reason yesterday was dreadful.

It proved me right. I'm nothing more to Andrew than his best friend. He loves someone else, and truly. There is not hope for us. He loves her, and if it's as much as I love him, then it's over. I need to stop trying for him. He'll sweep any girl off there feet, he's spectacular like that.

So here I am now. My house clean thanks to James and Andrew. My cousins in the guest room recovering from jet-lag. And I lay here on my couch, moping about my nonexistent, and never beginning love life. I might as well just ask my blind date to be my boyfriend. It's better than being hopeless I suppose. Not that I will ever stop loving Andrew, but I need to let him move on.

I sigh at the thought of never being able to tell him I love him. I'll have to hold that in my heart for the rest of my life. When he goes away one day, I'll be left with half a heart full of love while my other half is wherever he is. That seems like a meaningless life.

I take a deep breath and release slowly. It's not the end of my life. Au contraire', it's only the beginning. I am emancipated! No more fear, no more lies. Andrew was true with me, and so now I just have to live with the truth and be his best friend. That's a lot off of my chest I suppose. Now I can find someone to fill some of the gap, and let him be happy.

Who knows, maybe this is just teen love? I doubt that, it feels too real. Maybe though. I'll have to think about that some more. Later. Right now I need to call up Carly. Andrew told me he would lend me the money for my dress for Saturday. It's a casual date, so I need a summer dress. Nothing too fancy, but prettier than anything I own for sure. Hopefully I won't look far too foolish.