Hateful obsession

Chapter 22

Knock, knock, knock. Are my book readers still here? Because your Jannel is back.

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                                        Roman
"I don't know what I want more. Do I want to kill her or do I just want her?"

The last night was heavy with desire and what had happened, the air was thick with a mixture of lust and temptation. All the damn air since I was inside my wife again. I leaned against the cold wall of the dimly lit room where she had been, leaving me to ponder the blurred line between rational thought and primal instinct. It haunted me, were my thoughts just animal instincts or was there a deeper meaning behind them. Was I just a slave to my body or was there some method to this madness?

I hate it. I hate this woman for how easily she can suck the life out of me. How she can control me. And the worst thing is that I am one of the most dangerous people in this city, but next to her I feel like cotton wool on a stick. So sweet. Pink. Ugh. And yet, for some reason, next to her, it felt right.

A light chuckle spread through the room. Such an idiotic irony of fate. I really didn't understand what was going on in this life when it came to her. Do you know what exactly is worse about hate than love?

When you love, truly, without your own benefit, you do it just like that without any good reason. But when you hate? You have many reasons that bind you to this person for life. Oh, I know what I'm talking about because I loved this woman. And I can admit it.

When I first saw her in a photograph in her father's office, my only goal was for her to be mine. And she was. So daring, smart and different. But it turned out that one year of perfect bravery crumbled before my eyes when I heard her talking about me to her mother. One brick of hatred.

The second brick - This fucking woman ran away. She just took and disappeared as if we hadn't lived by her rules for 5 years. She had everything. But it seemed that even this was not delivered if a person runs away without even saying the reason or just saying it to my face.

The third brick - oh please, she fucking married some idiot, changed her personality and stuffed herself into a box with so many boundaries. And Melissa hates them. And I hate it when she does something that prevents her from living a full life.

What I couldn't understand was her hatred. Her reasons. I mean, it's obvious because I have two more scars on my shoulder and stomach and the way she looks at me as if she wants to rip all my insides out. What made her run away, hide and change. Her secret is covered in dust and she's clearly not ready and will never talk about it.

My thoughts inevitably turned to Melissa. Memories flooded my mind—her laugh, her intoxicating presence, the way the twinkle of mischief sparkled in her eyes. She had a way of igniting something inside me, a fire that both thrilled and terrified me. But now, remembering her sudden disappearance, he was left with an emptiness inside. She had run away, leaving me to sort through the ruins of their chaotic affair, a hurricane of passion and confusion. Only later did I find out that the fool had been drinking and didn't remember a fucking thing. What the hell luck for her, all that was left was for me to erase her memory and everything would be perfect.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair, trying to push the memories away. The task required my full attention. Following Melissa's instructions, I quickly pushed myself away from the wall and walked over to the closet, opening its doors. Kate seemed to have stopped moving. Taking her body in my arms, hoping that she was alive, I headed to the bathroom, holding Kate's lifeless body in my arms. The coolness of her porcelain skin contrasted with the warmth rising from my skin, reminding me of the situation I found myself in.