Chapter 30 - Commitments

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I want to scream 'yes' and be the happiest girl ever. Damn it, why did Lewis have to confess his feelings to me and then kiss me? Now guilt is eating me alive.

Why did Lewis have to make everything so complicated in my life? Everything was on a good road to a happy ending until he does what he did. Why did you have to do this to me, Lewis?

"Yes." I answer and a smile grows on Josh's face.

"But..." I start and his smile drops a little into a more of a frown. "I have to tell you something."

Josh gets up. He's looking concerned now. "I'm going to be completely honest with you." I begin. "Today when I woke up, Lewis was by my side. He said something I can't get out of my head. He confessed he's always loved me, Josh. Ever since we were little, he liked me more than a friend. Then he... Kissed me." I say, saying that part slowly and carefully.

Josh's smile drops completely now. He's looking at me with shock and anger. His eyes get darker.

"What do you feel for him?" Asks Josh, in a more of a demanding tone than I expected.

"Josh, I don't feel anything for him." I tell him. His facial expression doesn't change.

"I knew I shouldn't have trusted him around you." Mumbles Josh, clenching his fists and walking around in cirlcles, trying to calm down.

"That cunt." He snaps. This hurts me. Lewis was always by my side, always. Josh wasn't. Lewis didn't do anything wrong until he kissed me. Before he just told me the truth.

"Listen to me." I snap slightly, patting his shoulder so I gain his attention. "Despite everything we've been through, you not telling me about Bethany being your mate, you getting angry at me and telling me you have loads of other girls that would love to sleep with you, the arguments we've had and so much more. We've been through this, we got through it. We are parents to an incredible little girl and soon another little baby... And after everything you did for me, I picked you and after everything I did to you, you pick me. You pick me to be your wife. I thought I would loose you after this fight, Josh. I thought there is a possibility you could not make it after the injuries that you got. But I didn't even want to image what life could look like without you. It wouldn't be a life, there wouldn't be a life for me. If this isn't love then I don't know what is." I tell him.

He looks at me deeply, concentrating on my eyes as I speak. He takes both of my hands again.

"Lets scrap that and do it again properly. Act surprised." He tells me.

"I cannot wait to see the look on your face when you open your present!" Says Lewis. Even though he's 14, he's acting like a small child, all giddy and happy.

"But I know what you got me. I went shopping for it with you because you wanted me to pick!" I say, raising an eyebrow playfully.

"Lets do this properly, shall we? You open the box like a normal person. Act surprised." He tells me.

Get out of my head, Lewis. Why does everything that Josh does somehow link to Lewis? I love Josh, I don't have feelings for Lewis but I'm just bothered about what happend so now I'm paranoid. Yes, that's it.

Josh goes down on one knee again, opening the little box once more. I gasp, making it very exagerated. Josh laughs at me and I join in. "Great acting, babe. Lexie Louise Spencer, please will you do me the honour and marry me?"

"Yes." I say, with a big smile. Josh slips the ring on my finger and scoops me up off the floor, bridal style. I thought he was weak from the fight but clearly not that weak. I let off a little yelp with a laugh as I don't expect it. He leans his head to my neck first, breathing in my scent and hovering over my mark again and then he brings his lips to mine for a short few seconds.

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