Heaven In Hell (Suicide Squad Girls X Male Reader)

Issue 63: Mother

"Don't you mother me, young man! Coming to me at this hour of the night just to-" Mother stopped and looked past me to see the rest. "Oh for God's sake (Y,N)! Is this what you've done with your life!? First stop out of the nut house was at a whore house!? How dare you bring filthy prostitutes to my home!"

"What did you just call me!?" Jane asked while Lee said "Say that again!"

"Mother, they're not whores! They're friends and business partners!"

"Where did I go wrong for you to turn to a life of crime? To become a pimp!?"

"I'm not a pimp and they're not prostitutes! We're on a mission for the government and I need you to call Uncle Jackie!"

"Not even home for five minutes and ordering me around, are you!? And what's this about you making friends!? I thought you learned your lesson after that no good delinquent friend of yours Elsa Chamberlain and the rest of those bottom feeders tried to put you out of your misery!"

"I'm coming inside." I said pushing her out of the way and into the living room to put Duela on a couch. "Call Uncle Jackie before she bleeds out!"

"Not even a please or thank you. A bastard, that's what you are!" Mother said before she walked into the other room to call Uncle Jackie presumably.

"And just like that, every weird homicidal tendency you have makes sense." Lee said.

"Could you believe I only went truly crazy once I pulled myself together in that machine?"

"Is this where you grew up? It looks like it's straight out of the Addam's Family." Jane said.

"Let's see, creepy? Check. Kookie? Check. Mysterious and spooky? Mega check. All you need now is to be Altogether Ooky." Lee said.

"Am I not?"

"Not the first Bloodhound Gang song that comes to mind when I think of you."

"I don't know who that is."

"Really? A Lap Dance is So Much Better When the Stripper is Crying? The Bad Touch? Fire Water Burn? Kiss Me Where It Smells Funny? Fucking Gen Z cock munchers, don't know anything about real music!"

"Aren't you also in Gen Z?" Jane asked.

"That's besides the point! I'm not gonna be lectured by a millennial!" Lee retorted.

"Nice try but I'm not a millennial, fucknut."

"So what you're also Gen Z?"

"No, she like, transcends generations." I said.

"What the fuck does that mean!?"

"Do you wanna tell her or should I?" I asked Jane.

"Wait, you know?"

"The general ball park. The Chief tapes had dates on them. Oldest I found was from 1978."

"What?" Lee asked.

"...I'm 84 years old."

"WHAT THE FUCK!?" Lee shouted.

"(Y,N) (L,N)! GET IN HERE!" Mother called.

"Someone's in trouble~." Lee teased as I groaned.

"Can it, prostitute." I told her. I walked over to see Mother at the kitchen table. "Yes, Mother?"

"Your Uncle is on his way. Not that I expect any sort of thank you from you. Did the authorities follow you?"

"Not that I know of."

"How did you escape?"

"I didn't escape. I was transferred to a prison in Louisiana. I'm working for the government now."