Chp. 39

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"Happy birthday, baby..."

My eyes shot open, the glare from the sun hurting my eyes as I heard the faint echo of Drew's voice in my head. I reached out for her, feeling nothing but the coldness of the sheets. I was alone.

Coming to terms with last night proved to be difficult, but I turned over towards my clock to find out how long I had slept. 2:30 blinked in bright red, my heart somersaulting in my chest.

I grabbed my phone, seeing multiple missed calls from Maria and Jeremy from over an hour ago. They could be worried sick, not knowing where I had ended up last night. All they knew was that Drew had come to my rescue, if you wanted to call it that. Of course I didn't because I believed she had ruined my birthday by showing up. Now she was gone, again.

I texted both of them I was awake and at home, feeling as if I had been run-down by an eighteen-wheeler. My head was throbbing as my puffy eyes attempted to stay open. Deciding to roll over onto my back I internally agreed, never again.

I stared up at my ceiling fan aimlessly, replaying what I could remember of last night. All I could recall was Drew kissing my forehead and leaving. Parting like she didn't give two shits about me. Maybe I wasn't worth anything to her anymore, and maybe I was stupid to believe she cared. If she cared she would've stayed.

But no matter how hard I tried to hate her... I couldn't. It wasn't easy to dislike someone when they hurt you thinking it was for your benefit. I wanted to believe her motive was selfish but was it? From what I remembered of last night she had looked just as broken as I had, if not worse. Did she believe she wasn't good enough? That she could never make me happy?

I wanted to fight, I would always want to, but I couldn't force her to be with me. I could show up in her life every day, beg her to let me back in and let me love her but she had to allow me. If she didn't want me around and was stubborn enough to keep me at a distance I could do nothing.

I could only be with her if she let me, and she was refusing.

Soon my phone was ringing, snapping me out of my thoughts. I knew already who it was, but it wasn't who I wanted it to be. Drew wouldn't call me. Not after last night.

I answered, "Hey."

"God Bree, I thought you were dead!" Maria raged over the phone, letting me know I had worried her.

"I'm fine," I responded, "Why the hell did you let Drew take me home?"

"She took you to your home or hers?"

I rolled my eyes, "Mine. And that doesn't answer my question."

She paused for a second, as if searching for a reason herself. Finally she admitted, "She told me you called her and asked her to come get you. At first I didn't believe her but... I don't know. I kind of thought she would take care of you. It's not like you fought to stay..."

I felt the pain erupt in my heart, "Yea she took care of me, all right."

"Is she there...?"

I pulled my eyes down and away from the door, wishing Drew would walk through and decide she wanted to be with me. That she was good enough. That she could love me without restrictions.

But that was me dreaming.

I forced, "No, she left last night."

"Wow," was all she said, as if I had said something completely out of left field. We were over, officially. Drew made that blatantly obvious. Of course I didn't get why she was being this way, but talking to her was impossible.

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