No Fury

Now: Nineteen

He bids me stay here, in his bed beside him, but surprises me by not immediately sating his own desire. His head rests on my chest; my heart thuds manically beneath his ear.

"You were angry when you came in," he says. "Why?"

I hold my breath. How did he know?

"Out with it. I'll send you away if you can't speak your mind."

I stifle a shocked gasp, speaking before I have time to consider my words: "Do not speak so harshly to me while I am bare in your arms. We were friends once, were we not?"

My throat tightens. What did I just say? And to the crowned prince?

Beside me, he freezes and then, after a breath, relaxes. "A habit," he admits, amending, "A new, and very bad habit. Please, Cath. Why were you cross?"

I close my eyes, daring to run one hand along his shoulder. Beneath my palm, he tenses, shivering. "You had your steward retrieve me from the ale house in daylight," I remind him. "The servants, my Lord. They talk."

"Tell them I make you bring me my meals. Tell them I find you pretty and you find me odd. Tell them I stare at you from the dark corner while you pour my ale and cut my bread."

His eyes are teasing.

"You do not take ale."

"But aye, I do. I sneak it." He nuzzles my breast. "Now you can bring it to me directly."

"I cannot."

"You are the most beautiful girl in the kingdom, Cath. Every man, even the king himself wants to defile you in his bed. Tell them I am fascinated. No one will doubt that story and it won't leave you in ruins."

"No, I would only brand myself a braggart." I bite back a smile, sawing my lip between my teeth. "You hope to ruin me. You do."

"I do not." His voice lowers. "But I admit I want wicked things with you. I could never stay away, even when I tried."

I pull my hand from his shoulder, tucking it against my chest. As much as my heart threatens to burst into stardust when he says this, I wanted to disagree. He stayed away nearly every day for years.

"And you," he says, even quieter now. "You come of your own free will. Douglas no longer fetches you to lie with me."

I don't know what to say. The privilege in his words rolls over me like a galloping steed. To tell him I feel obligated is a lie. To tell him I crave his touch would break me.

"Look at me," he demands. "Speak your mind."

I ask him the question that has been knocking around in my thoughts for weeks now. "Why did you bring me back, my Lord, that second night? When you clearly didn't desire me the first?"

His face straightens into a mask of indifference. "You think I didn't desire you the night you bled?"

"You could barely look at me."

He is still. A thundercloud builds in his green eyes.

I prattle on. "The steward insisted you do it! He forced you over."

"Cath. Enough."

Growing braver, I begin, "You didn't meet my eyes when you took me. You didn't ask. You didn't want to see if-"

"Enough!" he roars, climbing over me and reaching for my wrists, pinning them above my head. "I don't want to talk about that night and what I did. You're here now," he growls. "You feel pleasure under my touch. You do."

His chest heaves with angry breaths, gaze clawing across my face, my naked body.

He gathers my wrists into one large hand and uses the other to cup me between my legs, groaning crudely in satisfaction when he feels me again, wet and swollen.

Shoving his pants down only far enough to free himself, he is inside me without another sound, pushing and pushing and pushing until he finishes with a tortured howl. He rolls off of me, hair a sweaty mess, chest heaving. With a hand pressed to my back, he shoves me abruptly out of his bed.

I scramble at the floor, gathering my clothes and pulling them back on, fighting confused tears.

He is spring and winter. He is warm tea and dusty bread.

The prince sits at the edge of his bed, his head in his hands. He doesn't look up to see his seed spill down my leg, doesn't watch me try to clean myself with my filthy dress.

My anger is a roaring, foaming wave dwarfed only by my humiliation.

"I'm leaving as I came," I hiss. "Livid. I won't come freely again."

At the door he stops me with his command: "You'll return as usual tonight, Cath. You're here for my pleasure. It will do you well to remember that."