After

Chapter 20.

As my lips touch Hardin's I feel his sharp intake of breath. I have no idea what I am doing, but I can't stop. Hardin's mouth tastes just like I had imagined, I can taste the faint hint of mint on his tongue as he opens his mouth and kisses me. Really kisses me. His warm tongue runs along mine and I can feel the cold metal of his lip ring on the corner of my mouth. My entire body feels like its been ignited, I have never felt like this before. He brings his hand to my face, cupping my flushed cheeks, before both of his hands go to my hips.

He pulls back a little and plants a small kiss on lips, "Tess," he breaths and brings his mouth back to mine, his tongue sliding in once more.

 My mind is no longer in charge, the sensation has taken over ever fiber of me. Hardin pulls me by my hips closer to him as he lays back, never breaking the kiss. Unsure of what to do with my hands, I put them against his chest as I climb onto his torso. His skin is hot and his chest is moving up and down, from his rapid breathing. He pulls his mouth away from mine and I whimper at the loss of contact, before I can complain his mouth moves to my neck. I feel every swipe and lick his tongue makes, the feeling is incredible. He grabs ahold of my hair to keep my head just above his as he continues to kiss my neck. His teeth graze my collarbone and I moan, the feeling shoots down my whole body as he gently sucks on my skin. I would be embarrassed if I wasn't so intoxicated, by Hardin and the alcohol. I have never kissed anyone like this, not even Noah. Noah!

"Hardin.. Stop" I don't recognize my voice. Its low and husky and my mouth is incredibly dry. He doesn't stop. "Hardin!" I say again, my voice clearer and he lets go of my hair. I look into his eyes, they are much darker yet softer and his lips are a deeper pink and swollen from kissing me. "We can't" I say, even though I really want to keep kissing him I know I can't.

The softness in his eyes disappears within seconds and he pulls himself up, knocking me off of him and onto the other side of the bed. What just happened? "I'm sorry" are the only words I can think of. My heart feels like it will explode any second.

"Sorry for what?" He says and walks over to his dresser. He pulls out a black t-shirt and pulls it over his head. My eyes go down to his boxers again and they are noticeable tighter in the front. I flush and look away.

"For.. stopping" Or for kissing him, I am not sure if I actually am so I don't want to apologize for that.

He seems uninterested. "Okay?"

"Or for kissing you.. I don't know why I did that" I tell him, avoiding eye contact.

"It was just a kiss, people kiss all the time." His words hurt my feelings for some reason. Not that I care if he didn't feel what I did. What did I feel? I know I don't actually like him, I am just drunk and he is attractive, It has been a long night and the alcohol made me kiss him, somewhere in the back of my mind, I fight down the thoughts of how much I wanted it to happen again. He was just being so nice that's why.

"Can we not make a big deal of it then?" I ask, I would be humiliated if he told anyone. This isn't me, I don't get drunk and cheat on my boyfriend at a party.

"Trust me, I don't want anyone to know about this either. Now stop talking about it." He snaps.

"Now you're back to yourself I see?" My tone harsh.

"I never was anyone else, don't think because you kissed me, basically against my will, we have some sort of bond now."

Ouch. Against his will? I can still feel the way his hand gripped in my hair, the way he pulled me on top of him, and the way his lips formed 'Tess' before kissing me again. "You could have stopped me" I say and stand up.

"Hardly" he scoffs and I feel like crying again. He makes me too emotional. I am humiliated and hurt by the way he is basically saying I forced him to kiss me. I bury my head in my hands and head for the door.

"You can stay in here tonight since you have no where else to go" he says quietly and I shake my head. I don't want to be anywhere near him. This is all part of his little game. He will offer me to stay in his room so I think he is a decent person, then he will probably catch the room on fire, or cut all my hair off when I am asleep.

"No thanks" I say and walk out of his room. When I reach the stairs, I think I hear him call my name but I keep going. The cool breeze feels wonderful against my skin, I sit on the familiar stone wall and turn my phone back on. Its almost four am. I should be waking up in ah hour to get an early shower and start studying, but instead I am sitting on this broken stone wall, alone and in the dark. I read through the text messages from Noah and my mother. Of course he told her. I can't even be upset with him, I just cheated on him. I type in the address of my dorm building into the navigation on my phone and start to walk.