Fractures → Jonathan Crane / Scarecrow

Two → Conversations

jonathan

Despite how hard I tried not to, I couldn't help but steal glances at Desi while she looked over her notes. One of her traits I was thankful for was that she didn't feel the need to fill the silence with unnecessary conversation.

Her notes were neat and filled with various numbers and equations. "Calculus." She had said when I asked what she was studying for, apparently she had a test next period.

"What are you going to say if they see you here with me?" I asked, finally breaking the silence between us. As much as I loved silence, I enjoyed hearing her voice too.

Desi shrugged, putting her notes away. "It doesn't matter if they do." She softly said as she rested her face on her palm. "Sherry is already figuring things out anyways." Her green eyes that I absolutely adored looked over at me. "I don't mind if they know."

"I'm not someone you should be romantically involved with." I warned her. As much as I hated saying those words, it was true. Her being with me wouldn't do both of us any good.

"But I want to." She offered, she watched me as if waiting for me to give her an answer to the implied question. If only she knew how much I did want to be something with her.

I avoided her gaze and looked down at her jeans, almost as if I was interested in them. This conversation was one that I've been avoiding for a while; especially since last week when I left that damn note in her locker.

The library was fairly empty, considering that everyone was most likely at lunch. That, I was thankful for. Having someone else listen to this conversation would only make it difficult for me.

'Make a move.'

The familiar voice in my head advised me but I tried my best to ignore it. The voice always thought it knew what was best for me, but I knew that my decision was the right one.

"Jonathan." Her hands reached in her bag for something, and when she retrieved a folded note, I almost wanted to walk away. "This whole week you've been pushing me away and acting as if you never wrote this for me."

The piece of notebook paper laid in between her fingers as she looked at me, desperate for an answer. One that I wouldn't be able to give her. At least, not right now.

"Desi," I started, not knowing where I was going with this. "I barely know you. I can't ask you to be my girlfriend if you're a stranger." That was the best I could come up with on the spot.

She sighed, knowing that to some extent I was right. What caught me off guard was her next action. She placed her hand on top of mine, which was resting on my knee. "Let me get to know you."

"I-"

"Desi?!" The voice ended up scaring both of us and caused us to jump up. Her hand quickly pulled away from mine and she got out of her seat. She looked at me as if to ask if she could leave or not.

I nodded, knowing that if she didn't, this wouldn't end well for both of us. Desi quickly got all of her stuff and headed towards the door.

I was only able to watch from the table as Desi hesitantly walked over to him. "Yeah?" She softly asked, a bit of fear in her voice.

"I've been looking all over for you, baby."

I wanted to throw up at the pet name he had given her, I was almost positive that they were not dating. His arms wrapped around her, and when he caught my eye, he made sure to hug her tighter.

"Let's go." Daniel told her as he wrapped an arm around her waist and started leaving the once peaceful environment.

'Don't let him take her away from you. She's probably the only girl that'll ever have an interest in you.'

For once, I couldn't help but agree with the voice in my head.