(Theodore's POV)
"We can't just wait till anyone comes up. That way it might get too late. It's already too late. There has to be some other way." I felt so helpless.
"That was the same case with you. But we found an alternate for that. Alice proposed it. But we can't do that again. Until, we get a matching donor, we can only wait and hope she makes it with the heart. It nearly have collapsed. I warned her against any activities that leads to exhaustion but she doesn't listen. I can't believe she tried zip-lining in that condition and went hiking. She didn't even cared to ask before going. She not even for once mentioned about this trip to me when she came for her checkup last Saturday." Dr. Phil himself was so disturbed by her condition. He believes this could have been stopped.
I am feeling so guilty right now. Did she knew any of this would happen? Maybe yes, that's why she recalled that 'one day' promise only. We had many other promises together but she chose only this. She's dying because of me. Neil was right, what have I done to her!
"Theo!" I looked up when I heard my name.
"Neil? Is everything okay?" I saw him coming outside from Alice's room. I felt like my, Alice's heart stopped beating for a while in my chest.
"Yes. I wanted to apologise for my behaviour inside." He said at once.
"No, you don't have to be. You said nothing wrong."
"No. It isn't your fault. It was Alice's personal choice. I know how hard it must be for you as well, after knowing." The way he said made me feel like finally there was someone who knew what I was feeling like. 'Hard' wasn't an appropriate word to use, though.
I spent three years without her. You can call that hard but now not being sure for how long will she survive this way was killing me. Knowing that we could have lasted, kills me. I wish there was an undo or a redo button. I would have stopped all this from happening.
I should have never come back. Her life would have been incomplete but atleast she'd be living and that would have been more than enough for me. I'd have spent my days looking at her pictures or posts on Instagram or whats app. I am the reason for everything that's happening.
This is what she gets for loving me? My failing heart. I am such a failure. I loved her but never fought for her. I loved we but never showed her and when really the time came when I wanted to rectify those things, time is taking her away from me.
"Hey, where are you lost?" Neil waved his hand I front of my eyes.
"Umm, no where. Were you saying something ?" I felt a little embarassed in front of him. He too loved her and probably would have never got her in such a situation. I failed her.
"She wants to see you."
"Now?" I asked.
"Yes, now. Take care, buddy!" He patted my shoulder. I half-smiled at him. I rubbed my eyes, tidied my hair a little and slowly opened her door.
"Finally, here you are! Where were you?" Oh! How am I going to miss her voice.
"No where, baby! Just with Dr. Phil." I loved the smile she smiled whenever I called her baby.
"Can you do me a favour?" She asked me.
Favour. I am ready to do anything you say.
"Just say it."
"Pull of the curtains, please."
I walked towards the window and did what she asked me to do. Then, went back to sit on the couch so that I don't have to look into her eyes whenever I look at her.
