Fractures → Jonathan Crane / Scarecrow

Four → Countless Nightmares

jonathan
→ TW: Mild Abuse

After the library incident, I hadn't seen Desi all day. I entered my home as quiet as possible, not wanting to get her attention.

Tip toeing quietly to where my bedroom was located didn't work, somehow I was still able to catch her attention. "You're home?" Her old voice called out from the living room.

I let out a small curse under my breath, careful not to let her hear me. Somehow though, her ears had caught my voice saying that vile word and her anger quickly rose.

"How dare you utter that word in my household?" She was absolutely livid and heading right towards me. I prepared myself for what was coming and dropped my bag on the floor. In case she decided to strike me, I'd have my hands to shield myself. Surprisingly, I didn't feel any hits.

For a split second, I thought that maybe she had a change of heart. Maybe instead of throwing abuse at me, she wanted to shower me in love. That was just a split second of false hope though, and it quickly vanished - like it always did - when her hand roughly grabbed my arm.

"How dare you disrespect God with such awful words in my home?" Her shrill voice pierced my ear as she started pulling me towards a well known path.

We headed out of our house through the back door, as she pulled me towards a nearby church - that was surprisingly always empty. I always assumed that many people in our town just weren't religious.

I knew what was coming and I absolutely dreaded coming home because of this. Knowing that no matter what I did in her presence, this was inevitable.

She threw the familiar suit at me and I put it on, knowing what would happen if I didn't. Sighing, I slipped it on as she watched me with her hate filled eyes.

When she saw that the suit was on, she shut the doors and I stood there, agonizingly waiting for the crows.

...

For some reason, as some sort of kind act, she let me out earlier than usual. I didn't question why, but I was thankful for it; knowing that it would never happen again.

I laid on my bed, staring up at the empty ceiling. My hands were crossed behind my head as I tried to focus on my breathing, trying to repress the memories from earlier.

Still able to hear her outside my door, I knew she was awake so I wasn't able to read my books yet. Hopefully, she'd fall asleep in ten minutes like she always did.

As much as I tried not to, my mind kept wandering off and thinking about Desi. What would she think if she knew about my home life? Surely, I would never tell her; but a small part of me was curious as to what her reaction would be.

Would she be a sort of comfort? Or would she refrain from talking to me? Probably the latter, I decided. It would be pointless for her to know anyways.

'She's gone.'

My ears perked up to listen for any sound. When I was only met with silence, I sighed in relief realizing that the voice was right. She was asleep.

"Finally." I softly spoke up, more to myself since no one was around. My hands reached under my bed for the book I was waiting for. When I retrieved it, I couldn't help but sigh in relief as I held one of the few good things in my life.

Laying back on my bed, I opened up the book and let myself get indulged in the familiar chemistry equations.