Fractures → Jonathan Crane / Scarecrow

Five → Arguing

desi

So far, my morning was peaceful. I hadn't been disturbed by any of my friends, and I haven't even seen Daniel all day. It was almost a perfect morning, almost.

While I was at my locker, I was able to spot Jonathan sitting at a nearby bench with a book in hand. I put my bag in my locker and headed his way, only to be stopped by Sherry. "Hey Desi!"

She seemed tired and in a rush to get somewhere. "What's wrong, Sherry?" I questioned as I looked past her shoulder, but quickly turned back to look at her when I noticed Jonathan's eyes on me.

"I just wanted to apologize for yesterday, I heard what happened with Daniel." She told me, a frown on her face. I nodded and told her it was fine. "I'm glad you're not mad at me," Her arms wrapped around me. "Anyways, I need to go meet up with Bo. See you at lunch!"

And with that, she was gone to go meet Bo somewhere. Looking over at Jonathan, he turned away when he noticed my eyes on him. "Hey."

He closed his book and put it the side as I sat beside him. "Are you sure you want to talk to me in such an open space?" He asked, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"Jonathan," I sighed. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but you're the one who keeps wanting to stay out of people's sight when you're with me."

I watched as he pondered my words for a moment. "I don't need any more negative attention on me than I already have." I could see his point, but I still hated how we had to talk.

"Let's go." I stood up from the uncomfortable bench and started heading to the library, with him following right behind me. "I need to talk to you about something."

When I turned to look if he was listening, I saw him walking a few feet away from me. I knew he was trying to keep his distance from me so it looked as if we weren't walking together, and it just made me more upset at the situation.

My mind was filled with thoughts on what it'd be like to be able to hold his hand, to be able to actually express my feelings towards him.

...

"There was something you wanted to talk about?" His glasses were halfway down his nose, and I was finally able to get a good glance at his icy blue eyes before he pushed them back up.

I nodded, and put my hair up in a pony tail. "I want to get to know you." My lips formed a smile, finally excited to know more about him.

The smile quickly faded when he shook his head, his eyes never leaving mine. "You don't."

"I really do." I confessed, why would I lie about that? "I want to be able to get to know you."

"Why?" Of course, he would make this a difficult task. But after what happened with Sherry, I didn't blame him for being skeptical on our situation.

Although, the question frustrated me a bit, I tried not to let that show. "Because I like you, Jonathan. Yesterday, you said we couldn't be together because we didn't know each other. So-"

"I lied." He interrupted, his voice cold. "You know why we can't be "together", we both know it's not because of our lack of knowing each other." He made sure to put quotations over the word together, as if the word didn't suit his taste.

"Why are you complicating this so much?" I know I said I wouldn't let the frustration get to me, but I couldn't help but raise my voice. The librarian shushed us so I lowered my voice. "What's so bad about my friends?"

He scoffed and turned away from me. "It's easy to ask that when you're not on the opposite side." Shaking his head, he finally looked at me again. "As idiotic as your friends look, they sure know how to get the message across physically."

"What they do isn't my idea." I pleaded, not wanting him to think that I actually agreed with their habits. "Don't you think I tell them not to do that?"

"To some degree, you're right." His eyes were full of anger, and for once that anger was directed at me. "But the truth is that if you cared about me, even a little, you wouldn't continue talking to them if you know what they do."

"So I'm supposed to drop my friends for someone who won't even give me a clear answer?" Standing up from my seat and making sure not to talk loudly, I was finally letting out my thoughts. "Fuck that."

I know I was being unreasonable, I shouldn't have raised my voice at something so simple. He was only voicing his thoughts. But maybe I was just letting out my anger from yesterday on him, which wasn't good either.

"Miss-" The librarian started, and I already knew what she was going to tell me. I quickly apologized and headed out, leaving Jonathan there to ponder my outburst.

I knew I had to apologize to him, soon. Just not right now.