After

Chapter 30.

My tears are dry and I am showered and somewhat mentally stable by the time Steph returns from the movies.

"So, how was your.. hang out with Hardin?" she asks and grabs her pajamas out of her dresser.

"It was okay, he was his normal ..charming self" I tell her and manage a laugh. I want to tell her about what we did but I am too ashamed. I know she wouldn't judge me but I don't want anyone to know, I just hope Hardin doesn't tell anyone, although I wouldn't put it past him. Steph looks at me with concern evident in her eyes and I have to look away.

"Just be careful okay, you're too nice for someone like Hardin" she says and I want to hug her and cry into her shoulder. She knows Hardin better than most people and she even thinks I should stay away.

"How was the movie?" I change the subject. She tells me how Tristan kept feeding her popcorn during it and that she is really starting to like him. I want to gag but I know I am just jealous that Tristan actually likes her, the way Hardin doesn't like me. But I do have someone who loves me and I need to start treating him better and stay away from Hardin, for real this time.

Eventually Steph falls asleep and I do the same shortly after.

The next morning I force myself out of bed and get dressed. I feel drained, I have no energy and I feel like I could cry at any moment. My eyes are red from crying last night so I walk over to Steph's dresser and grab her makeup bag. I pull out brown eye liner and draw a thin line under my eyes and on my eyelid. It makes my eyes look much better. I put on a little powder just to cover under my eyes and give my skin a little color.  A few swipes of mascara and I look like a new person. I am pleased with the way I look and I put on my tight jeans and a tank top. I feel naked so I grab a white cardigan out of my closet and put it over. This is the most effort I have made in my appearance for a regular school day since picture day my senior year of high school.

I stop by the coffee house and grab Landon a drink too. I am still pretty early to class so I walk slower than usual.

"Hey, Tessa right?" I hear a guy's voice say. I look over and see the preppy boy, Logan I think was his name.

"Yea, Logan right?' I ask him and he nods.

"You coming over again this weekend?" He asks. He must be part of the frat. Of course he is, he is preppy and gorgeous.

"Oh no, not this weekend" I laugh and he joins in.

"Bummer, you were fun. Well, if you change your mind you know where it is" he laughs. "I gotta go or I will be late, see you around" he gives me another smile and walks away.

Landon is already seated and thanks me repeatedly for bringing him coffee.

"You look different today" he says as I sit down.

"I put makeup on" I laugh and he smiles. He doesn't ask about my night with Hardin and I am grateful. I am not ready to talk about it yet. Just as I begin to stop thinking about Hardin, it is time for Literature.

Hardin is sitting in his normal seat in the front. I want to ask Landon to switch seats with me but I don't want to have to explain why. Hardin is wearing a white t-shirt for once and his tattoos are visible underneath it. It amazes me how attractive I find his tattoos and piercings, I never cared for either before. I look away quickly and pull out my notes. I hope Landon arrives soon so I won't feel so alone with Hardin.

"Tess?" Hardin whispers as the class begins to fill up. No. Don't answer him. Ignore him. I repeat to myself.

"Tess?" He says again, this time louder.

"Do not speak to me Hardin." I say through my teeth and still avoid looking at him. I will not fall back into his trap.

"Oh come on" he says and I can tell he is laughing at me.